Leaves, Falling Into The Past

One of my weaknesses is being able to forgive, move on and/or let go of the past; that is, not allow my present to be colored by the past.

I read an analogy that clicked with me: falling leaves from a tree. If trees didn't let their leaves fall and die each winter, they'd have no room for new growth in the spring. It's a part of nature that plants and trees let go of the old to prepare for the new. I never would have compared myself to this process without reading that, but it brought me some measure of comfort. I'm a visual person, so I needed that symbolism to help me understand why it's necessary to forgive and let go.

I vacillate between knowing there are people who should not be a part of my life and making that clear to them, and the sadness of wishing circumstances were different and they could be a healthy part of my life. In some cases (luckily very few and far between) that's just not possible. I both fear and miss them. It's been a hard thing for me to let go of and accept. I decided to think of these people as leaves, to visualize leaves falling from a tree, and knowing the tree is going to be okay. Maybe naked for a while, but okay.

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