It's a tough life lesson that when you try to be more loving, forgiving and in greater harmony with those around you, you will discover that someone you have feelings for, like and care about turns out to be a person capable of doing awful, despicable, unjust things. Your trust is betrayed. If you think you are justified responding with anger, hate, disgust, public shaming and bringing justice for their actions, well... you are. Totally justified. And people encourage you to do all of these things. But you know: this is not who you are trying to be. You could never again be a person who didn't do those things. When someone breaks your heart and trust, don't break your own soul. They aren't worth your soul. Justice comes of its own accord, in its own time. It's not up to me anymore. When you reach for the capacity to be more loving, turns out you might have to learn that by learning to forgive in your heart (but not your actions) those whose poor choices adversel...
A guy I barely knew in my city asked me to dinner, in 2009. We went, no chemistry (even as friends) from my point of view, so I was shocked when he asked me if I wanted to have dinner and watch a movie with him that weekend. Sometimes first dates just aren't great, so I said yes. But then, on the bus ride home, I realized he meant eat dinner and watch a movie at his apartment. I didn't feel comfortable doing this because I barely knew him and there was a certain BCI to this request (Booty Call Implication-- thanks Community !), so when I got home, I asked him if he'd mind if we did something else instead, like go to a local historical site. I didn't explain why, I just asked. He said no. Cancelled the date altogether by saying "Nevermind. I'm not into [historical site]." And no offer of doing anything else instead. Hmmm. Okay, so he's not here for my sparkling and charming personality! I learned from my Brutal Honesty II experience that it i...
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