Rebecca A. Foster

My little brother is in graduate school for Speech Pathology and I was helping him practice his assessment techniques. He asked me to put the tip of my tongue on the roof of my mouth and open wide. I could barely get my teeth and lips separated. It went something like this: Him: "Okay, open." Me: *barely opens* Him: "No, like this." *touches tongue to roof of his mouth, opens wide* Me: *barely opens* "I'm trying, that's as far as it will go!" Him: "Seriously, you can't open it any farther? Well, okay..." *records something on his paper* Me: "AM I DEFORMED OR WHAT TELL ME NOW" He assured me I was deformed but it was cool, it wasn't going to hurt anything. Haha. No, he told me it was fine, it just meant my tongue was closely and firmly attached behind my bottom teeth more than other peoples' tongues and I have a high palate to boot. How did I live this long and not know my tongue is too tight?? Has anyone I...

Picture it: Arizona, 1997-ish. I've gone to visit my friend T. in Mesa, but we are Just Friends, capital J, capital F. The kind of Just Friends who, because we attend universities in different states, travel to visit each other a couple of times a year. Around 11 PM we go for a late night swim (yay Arizona winter weather!), then head downtown in his brand new car. I'm poking through the CDs in the center console when I find one clearly labeled 'Make-Out Mix.' Now, let's ignore for a moment the fact someone actually labels their CD 'Make-Out Mix' instead of something more innocuous like 'Slow Jams.' (Those two things are always the same, right?) I hold up the CD so I can see by passing streetlight if my eyes are really seeing what they're seeing. Being the kind of girl I am, the following exchange goes down: Me: "Make-Out Mix? Realllly?" T: "Oh... yeah. Um, I've had that CD forever, it's old, I forgot it was in there....

This past 4th of July was hot, rainy and humid as Hades in Chongqing. We had our 4th of July American-style barbecue in the 8th floor stairwell because of the rain, which gradually moved into one of our apartments, because of the heat. One of the volunteers was dating a Chinese girl who spoke very fluent English and she came to our party. In the apartment we started talking about sex, as rained-out Americans in mixed company are want to do. I found out later this girl was shocked that we would discuss such things in mixed company in such detail, as this is just not done in Chinese culture. And, she was shocked at how much sex education we all had and felt comfortable discussing, period. Of course, we thought nothing of it. It reminded me that learning the language of another culture does not always equal understanding the culture. (This was also the weekend T. ate food he'd dropped on the stairwell floor and the next day got too sick to leave my apartment to go home and the resulti...

(If you are related to me, maybe you don't want to read this.) I think some people come from kissy families, some do not. I come from a kissy family; I'm sure this was largely due to my mom's Chilean-ness. (Some of my clearest memories of visiting Chile are of being kissed by every old woman I saw.) I love that in Chilean culture, you kiss strangers upon being introduced. So friendly! (Maybe also other Spanish cultures, not sure.) In San Antonio, it is quite common for friends to greet each other with a kiss. I got used to this. In China, I had kissing friends and non-kissing friends. When the kissing friends met up in public, I wonder if we shocked the Chinese around us, who don't hug or touch upon greeting, let alone kiss. I noticed my kissing friends in China were mostly Italian or of Italian heritage, or from the East Coast. Are you a kisser? My non-kissing friends are REALLY non-kissing. Funny how that happens. When I was younger, I thought kissing was either...

I have many declarations. My long-term favorite is "He/She/It is dead to me." I can hold a grudge like a hiker holding onto a ledge. It's a real talent. But last night R. and I were gchat video chatting (I love R.; she is, quite simply, awesome) and she said, "You know what sucks about being home? I can no longer excuse things by saying, 'Ain't no shame in China.'" She's right. "Ain't no shame in China" is a declaration I made about a year in, when I stopped being polite and started being real. (Ha! Old-school, in the house!) It became our rallying cry: Get hooked on Gossip Girl and actually discuss it with friends? Ain't no shame in China. Drink 120 proof Chinese liquor too quickly and puke all over your hotel room like a college kid? Ain't no shame in China. Kiss a guy in a bar (twice! In two different bars!) you'd never have kissed in America? Ain't no shame in China. Wear mismatched clothing and lots of c...

A few weeks ago, we joked that we should have a Chongqing PCV Writer’s Club, in which we’d write bad/cheesy romance pieces, then read them out loud to each other a la open mic beat poetry night. Did I mention it has been raining FOREVER in Chongqing? It’s making us all a little crazy. So last week in our downtown Starbucks, the Writer’s Club* had their first meeting. (I should mention, Starbucks here are almost like libraries, with sectioned-off rooms, long tables with study lamps for laptops, super comfy couches and lounge chairs, and all the free wi-fi you can handle. You can basically hang out there all day and no one blinks an eye. Also, they make all their specialty coffee drinks in non-coffee versions, which is great. I wish they did this in the U.S. They do this because many Chinese don’t like the taste of coffee. So, a caramel frappuccino will have whole milk instead of coffee, along with the caramel flavorings etc. They also have more teas on the menu here.) We each spent abou...

1. Any food you eat in bed tastes exponentially better. 2. It’s okay to admit you hate camping. When I was younger, I sort of made myself believe I liked the outdoors because most of the guys I was interested in were mountain men on the side. The truth is, I like hot showers and seafood buffets and soft hotel beds, so sue me!  On the plus side, when you admit that out loud, you find the people who feel the same way. Amazing. 3. Something more expensive that will last over time is a much better deal than cheaper and easily broken. This is especially true of shoes and appliances. 4. The question is not “Are you single?” The question should be: “Are there any girls who you know think they’re your girlfriend?” 5. Sometimes what is holding us back is the fear of our own success, either because we don’t think we deserve it, or we don’t want the responsibility that comes with it. 6. A guy who wants to help you carry your bags or pay for things doesn’t necessarily think you’re in...

If all goes according to plan, this is where I'll be spending part of my winter break. You can get very cheap airfare from China to Indonesia, and stay in cheap huts on the beach, perfect for someone on a Peace Corps (read: nonexistent) budget. I need fresh air and open space. Can't wait! Also, I was talking yesterday with a friend about men who aren't fully honest about their dating/marital status. Reminded me of a guy I went out with a few times in Texas, I think Tony was his name. I went to his apartment once, for just a few minutes, and he had a cat. And I remember thinking, single guys in their 20s don't usually have cats. Suspicious! Also, he had the world's cheesiest flower painting on the wall. So I went home that night and shamelessly googled-- and thank heaven for Texas and their open records laws, there was his marriage certificate in all its PDF glory!  And no divorce certificate to match. Thanks, cat, for saving me from a loser. (Interestingly, t...

Chinese friends are very affectionate with each other. It's common for two female friends to hold hands while they walk together, or to put their arm around a friend's shoulder while they sit together. (I snapped this picture today with my camera phone when they didn't know I was looking.) And it's common for guys to put their arm around a friend's shoulder while walking, or while sitting together. The concept of personal space is very different here,  it's superclose . I've literally felt people breathing on my neck in line at the grocery store. I haven't sat so affectionately with someone since I rode the D.C. Metro with a guy I really liked, just prior to coming to China. (I'm usually not one for Subway Snuggling, but with him, I was.) Although I always kiss hello and goodbye with one of the male volunteers here (he started it, because I am half Spanish, I think ), I mostly just do the Western hug with friends. But some of my students have star...

It was Dragon Boat Festival here this week, so I had a few days off from school. (Most Chinese holidays last a minimum of three days. I know!) To celebrate, we climbed a mountain just outside of town, then took a very scary ski-lift type contraption back down to the bottom. Inside the little two-person car was one of the best Chinglish signs* I've seen yet: "No Smoking or Gambolling or Swagging." Swagging?  Did they mean swinging? Snogging? Swapping? I really want to know what they meant! Also, who gambles whilst going down a mountain inside a tiny tram car? The mysteries of China are never-ending. *dead camera batteries, so no pic. Argh!

I learned something heartbreaking today: John Krasinski can't dance! Para nada!  In this week's episode of The Office , he looked like an awkward 12 year old boy. So sad. And true story: I've never met a man who was a bad dancer who was also a good kisser. Bad dancer = bad LOTS of things. Busy Bee Suzy asked me about English names for Chinese students.  All English majors choose an English name to use throughout their college career, and even many non-English majors do too. Their Chinese teachers make them choose, this isn't a foreign teacher thing. They often choose random words instead of traditional names, so I have students named Sin, Xanadu, Sunfree, Seabird, Jelly, Apple, Little Mosquito, Devil, Stone, Hip, etc. Some of them will choose a more traditional name if they plan on working with foreigners. For example, the secretary of our Foreign Affairs Office goes by Cassie and her Chinese family name when she deals with foreigners; her email address reflects both ...

I saw this picture today on the interweb and thought, "Mmmmm...he looks like a good kisser."  Here's why: 1. The hand on the back of her head. I love this move! Along with the cheek, chin, and hand sliding inside the hair on the back of the head; these are the sweet spots of a good kiss. 2. Other hand on her hip, no lower, no higher. (Good for first-ish kisses and public kisses, unless you KNOW she likes more in public, which I do not. So I like this.) 3. He thoughtfully brings along a plank for her to stand on so she doesn't get neck-crick. (Haha.) 4. Kissing her fully on the lips. I used to take this for granted, but you get a lot of variation with this one. I like a lip-to-tongue ratio of about 2/3 to 1/3 in action. So I like this. 5. A man who will keep you warm with kisses is a good man to find.   p.s., if you have time to think about any of these things during the kiss, it ain't so great. I'm just saying is all. 

1. The EMT-B class I started this week. Still a bit concerned about the time commitment (3 hour class, 3x a week) and the type of learning, which is far different than what I did for my degrees, but so far I'm really enjoying it. It ends in April and if I pass the class, I can take the licensing test to be an EMT-B in May. 2. This website featuring bridge pictures from around the world. Some stunning shots. I love bridges, love their expanse and views and the simultaneous thrill of thinking you've beaten Mother Nature at the game while hoping at that moment She doesn't decide to take it all back. Airplane crash or bridge collapse? Two of my favorite worries. But I digress. Some of these photos are spectacular. Makes me itch to takes pictures of a great bridge myself. 3. You know that moment just before a man kisses you, when he puts his hands lightly on your face, maybe holding your chin in his fingers, maybe both hands gently framing your face, maybe a soft stroke of ...

I am more prone to laugh at others quoting movie dialogue than quote it myself because A: most movies I can quote correctly no one else recognizes and B: the ones they do know I get the words wrong and then get corrected, which ruins the moment. I find that movie quoters are like mathematicians, you get one part wrong, the whole thing is null and void. Whatever, I'm an English major, as long as I got the general idea right, suck it up. But this movie dialogue is so simple, direct and accurate, it deserves to be quoted often: "I mean, there's been all these bloody hints and stuff, but has he ever actually stuck his tongue down your throat?" "No, not once." Exactly. (from Bridget Jones' Diary )