Rebecca A. Foster

If I could install a magic mirror in my house? This is what I would see in that mirror. Her beauty and fashion style in this picture is my idea of perfection: I know it's really important to love and accept yourself, everyone is beautiful in their own way, blah blah blah, but I would so totally buy that mirror.

...which are the children of an idle brain. (From Romeo and Juliet ) You know what's weird?  When you dream things you've never done in your waking life, and you like it. I dreamt I was smoking. I don't smoke, never have, but in my dream I was enjoying it oh-so-much.  But how do I know what it feels like to smoke??  How does my brain invent this dream about something I have never done?! I don't get this, and it happens with more than just smoking.  Anyway, I was puffing away, chain smoking, and enjoying it immensely. *shrug* I also have dreams I'm kissing people I've never kissed in real life. I always enjoy it. I want to tell them, "Obviously I think you'd be great to kiss" because that's a compliment, right? But then you have to admit you dream-kissed them. Awkward. Dreams are full of crazy sauce. Do you have dreams of things you've never done? Do you enjoy it?

I'm a little bit enamored of the idea of Queens, NY. I've never been there except for riding to and from JFK and LaGuardia, which doesn't count. But I've heard there is a large population of Mandarin speakers in Flushing, Queens, and I really, really wanna hang out in Mandarin-speaking Chinatown for a day or two. Historically, the majority of Chinese who immigrated to the U.S. were Cantonese speakers; hence Szechuan food instead of Sichuan food. (I'm gonna call it: Sichuan wins. But actually they speak Sichuan dialect, not Mandarin, in Sichuan province. China is kinda complicated.) But some of that is changing and Flushing is one of those areas. I supposed not many people dream of a vacation in Queens, but I've rescheduled my Boston trip for St. Patrick's Day/Evacuation Day next March and I'm trying to work out swinging by NYC a few days prior. If so, I'm definitely going to Flushing. I need to eat some delicious foods and buy sketchy Chinese produ...

I have many declarations. My long-term favorite is "He/She/It is dead to me." I can hold a grudge like a hiker holding onto a ledge. It's a real talent. But last night R. and I were gchat video chatting (I love R.; she is, quite simply, awesome) and she said, "You know what sucks about being home? I can no longer excuse things by saying, 'Ain't no shame in China.'" She's right. "Ain't no shame in China" is a declaration I made about a year in, when I stopped being polite and started being real. (Ha! Old-school, in the house!) It became our rallying cry: Get hooked on Gossip Girl and actually discuss it with friends? Ain't no shame in China. Drink 120 proof Chinese liquor too quickly and puke all over your hotel room like a college kid? Ain't no shame in China. Kiss a guy in a bar (twice! In two different bars!) you'd never have kissed in America? Ain't no shame in China. Wear mismatched clothing and lots of c...

A few days ago I had a strange dream about my dad. We were, for lack of a better word, redoing some moments we'd had in "real life." In the dream I asked him, "Why are we doing this stuff? We've already done it." He didn't answer me. I woke up feeling like I had backslid in my progress of getting over my dad's death. At first after he died, I dreamt he was still alive. Then later I dreamt that he was missing, or that he had died but it had been a mistake. Later still, I dreamt he was dead, and I was strangely comforted by that, because I thought it meant my subconscious had accepted his death. But this? I don't know what this means. He wasn't dead, and he wasn't alive. It was just unsettling and sad and I've been blue ever since. I'll get over it, I just wanted to share it, in case this has happened to anyone else. You are not alone.

Let me say, this list is far smaller than the things I WILL miss. But there are a few things that have been the most difficult for me to adjust to and/or live with: 1. People blowing loogies out of their nose and onto the street next to my feet. (On the bright side, I have lightening fast snot-avoidance reflexes now.) 2. People trying to rip me off because I'm a foreigner and they think I don’t understand. 3. People telling me I am too fat to shop in their store. And even hiding clothes so I can’t buy them. (Yes, that last part really did happen.) 4. Train station waiting rooms! 5. Chinese is hella hard, y’all. Even after a year and a half, I don’t understand nearly as much as if I'd lived in a Spanish speaking country. I won’t miss the language barrier I constantly run up against. The next '5' list will be the things I am looking forward to most about returning home.

This has nothing to do with China, but I always wonder how my brain can be such a partier when I'm asleep, yet so practical when I'm awake. What's up with that, brain? I had a dream last night I was in a romantic relationship with a guy that in real life I've had exactly one conversation with and didn't feel any sort of romantic feelings for. He's cute, fun, blah blah blah but decidedly unremarkable to me. He just didn't push any of my buttons. Or so I thought. Evidently my subconscious thinks we are MFEO. Why does my brain conjure up romantic feelings for someone I don't think about in my waking life, and bypass men I actually DO pine over? How about a nice romantic dream with one of them, brain? Is that too much to ask? And isn't it a little scary that our brains can so perfectly replicate feelings of romance and longing for someone we have no conscious feelings for? Are feelings even real? I also think it's weird when I dream that I'm ...

This song is full of crap, but her corset dress is gorgeous. If you can stand waiting until the song is almost over, there is a great shot of it while she is running through the field. Because if I'm wearing a corset dress, pretty much that's what I'm going to do, too. I mean, how can you do something mundane like drive a car in a corset dress? Running through a field towards your lover, that's what corset dresses are for.  But I digress. This is a great dress*. WANT.  Link to the video *THIS is what I should have been wearing for my D.C. dinner date. No bra needed. 

Last night I had a dream Prince William (yes, THAT Prince William) proposed to me. He abdicated the throne, then handed me a half million dollar diamond ring. Hey, at least I didn't expect to be Queen! I love when my brain dreams up these kinds of scenarios. I mean really, it was the happiest dream I've had in a while. Thanks, brain! You made me smile today.

When you're sleepy, what feels better than rubbing your eyes? Love it. One great benefit of never wearing mascara: rubbing my eyes with abandon without smearing makeup all over my face. I also unabashedly stretch and mewl when I'm sleepy. Pointing my toes, stretching my arms overhead, yawning...I look ridiculous I am sure, but just feels so good. This morning I woke up on my back with my head turned to the side, arms bent, hands curled up against my ears. I wonder what I was dreaming about to end up in that position.

For some reason, I suddenly feel like taking a really looong, warm, cozy nap. Not sure why. (Special thanks to Lauren T. for sending me this pic. I love Lauren T.!) (P.S. John and I are obvs. meant to be in love because, no lie, I own that same leopard print rug.)

The term 'Dream Climber': a guy who is nicer to you in a dream than he is in real life and you wake up and have all of these affectionate and/or romantic feelings for him for no reason other than your dream. And then when you see him, you feel all giggly and stupid and embarrassed inside because he's a dream climber and doesn't know it. Especially if you liked it. Usage: You: "I don't know what I'll do when I have to see [Josh] again-- I had a dream we were making out and it's all I'll be able to think about..." Your Friend: "Ooohhh a dream climber!" Note: the reverse is also possible. You get pissed at him for something he did in a dream, and you're still pissed when you see him again in real life.