Rebecca A. Foster

First: New York: A Documentary Film , by Ric Burns (brother of Ken Burns), an interesting, engaging and entertaining 8-part documentary series on the history of the city of New York. Originally aired on PBS but I'm watching it on Amazon Prime on my iPad. It's long, over 14 hours, but I've learned a lot, and learned a lot more respect for, how NYC became what it is and why it is so wonderful. The documentary How the Universe Works from Discovery Channel: awesome. Makes me feel like life is a miracle and a blessing and I'm lucky to be a part of the human race. And then I go jeans shopping and I get all bummed out because of the size of jeans that fit me really well and look good. Really, Rebecca? This is what you feel bad about? Get a grip. But...gosh, don't we want to feel attractive? And I flashback to this time I was with this guy and I had made the effort to look attractive and he said, "You look really comfortable" and part of me thinks, ...

It was finally hot enough today in Salt Lake City: Living in the mountains in a desert makes for a very temperate climate, which I appreciate when I receive my electric bill each month; it's never been higher than $35. Compare that to the $180 it used to be in San Antonio in the summer (read: March through November). But I love any excuse to wear my summer hat; I learned in San Antonio for dark-hair, it really does make a difference in how hot you feel. But I do miss the heat and humidity; when I was in NYC on vacation, I slathered on face lotion and cream one morning and my make-up all started melting off my face, because I was so...dewey. Oops. I'm so used to greasing up like a piglet here, I forgot I didn't need to do it there. And my hair got that awesome humidity thickness to it. Speaking of a day almost two years in the making, I realized today the Peace Corps China volunteers I trained on my way out are coming home this summer. Crazy. Can't believe it...

My new bike. Not as cute as the other one, but this one has 7 gears instead of 1 (I live on a mountain slope so this is pretty nice) and was in stock and on sale. Sold. 8:30 PM: Outside the store. My brother and I realize my bike will not fit on his car's mountain bike rack because it's a GIRL's bike, so the bars are in a different places. Oops. 8:45 PM: We finally jimmy-rig a way to fit the bike in his car (my dad's truck is at the ranch house, my car is smaller than his) with the trunk shut and everything. I think my brother is secretly an engineer in his spare time. 9:00 PM: Get the bike in the back parking lot behind my building to test out the seat height with my brother watching me. I stand next to a fence for balance, because I haven't been on a bike in 2 years and I'm a bit shaky. I insist on wearing my helmet (silver), because this was engrained in me in China. I take a short ride around the parking lot. 9:02 PM: While getting off the bike my...

Is there any age when the death of a parent doesn't pierce your heart and affect every facet of your life? My dad was in the hospital room when I was born, and I was there when he died. I know many people don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't know if they would have the same feeling I do about helping someone transition out of life into death. But for me, to be there with him was an honor. My heart aches for those who lose their loved ones to accident or trauma, who never experience holding someone's hand as their body breaks down and their heart and lungs labor to beat and breathe and even though it breaks your heart, you're glad they aren't doing this alone, and you believe under that labored breathing and unconsciousness they know you're there with them, supporting them, loving them, telling them it's okay to let go and move on, that you'll be okay. It's taken me these years to see the beauty in living; not just the appreciation, or ...

After the roller-coaster that was life in China, life back in America can sometimes seem a little...plain. Not bad. Plain. So this is life now: work hard, go to bed early, get up early, meditate, read, study, make time for friends, talk over the internet with far-flung well-loved friends, make vacation plans, work on art projects, watch Community , shop for food, do laundry, clean, Netflix in bed, cook, do all of these things many times all over again. It's a good life. I'm adapting to life here in the American Western desert, but it sure does take some getting used to. I've met some fun people here and I'm reminded again that 99% of people in this world are good-hearted and kind and worth knowing. I'm now able to accept I liked those not-so-good guys in my past because I didn't believe I was worth more than how they treated me. It's hard to admit that, but overcoming it has made a big difference in my life. Kind and steady beats jerky and exciting a...

My favorite kind of light bulb is the GE Soft Pink bulb; I had them in every lamp in my apartment in San Antonio, and it was lovely being bathed in a soft, flattering pale blush glow. I tried to make sure all my dates saw me near a lamp as often as possible. Side note: you know how in old movies when things get romantic, the light gets all soft and fuzzy? There should be a way for that to happen in real life too; it would be so helpful! I'd know exactly what was on his mind and I could gear up for it. (I hate surprises. Also, I am a dork and usually thinking about, oh, light bulbs and stuff. I miss the cues sometimes.)  Target in San Antonio carried pink bulbs and it was never a big deal to buy them, but they're non-existent everywhere I've checked here. Where did all the pink bulbs go? I found them online-- $60 for 12, plus shipping. Um, maybe not!  I kept checking and did find a cheaper price, phew! So, I have to have pink bulbs shipped in? Really, light bulbs? I have...

I have many declarations. My long-term favorite is "He/She/It is dead to me." I can hold a grudge like a hiker holding onto a ledge. It's a real talent. But last night R. and I were gchat video chatting (I love R.; she is, quite simply, awesome) and she said, "You know what sucks about being home? I can no longer excuse things by saying, 'Ain't no shame in China.'" She's right. "Ain't no shame in China" is a declaration I made about a year in, when I stopped being polite and started being real. (Ha! Old-school, in the house!) It became our rallying cry: Get hooked on Gossip Girl and actually discuss it with friends? Ain't no shame in China. Drink 120 proof Chinese liquor too quickly and puke all over your hotel room like a college kid? Ain't no shame in China. Kiss a guy in a bar (twice! In two different bars!) you'd never have kissed in America? Ain't no shame in China. Wear mismatched clothing and lots of c...

I was going to write today about China, but you know what? I realize my memories will never mean as much to other people as they do to me. And that's okay. I think if you've read my other posts, you have a good idea of what I loved, and what was difficult, about China. Sometimes I miss China so much my heart aches. Sometimes I'm relieved to be back in America where I understand the culture (although this took several months-- reverse culture shock is a real thing). I'm feeling much more comfortable here. Some big changes for me coming up. China did a good job preparing me for the rest of my life. It was a graduate course in flexibility, creativity, strength, courage, acceptance and doing things you never thought possible. I read an analogy recently that made a lot of sense to me, so I want to share it: if you think of life like a river, a lot of us are preoccupied with where we are in the river: what we have materially, or relationships, what we've achieved or...

So, wiser heads than me tell me I am experiencing reverse culture shock. And that it will fade in time. And this is supposed to be comforting, and it is, but it is also scary to me. Because there are some things I don't WANT to fade. Here is one example: I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond over the weekend and I was just unexpectedly furious at all of the crap for sale that no one really needs for any reason other than laziness. You know the front of the store, where they put all the little gadgets and gizmos things on special? I was just disgusted seeing all of that, and sad, because I've seen firsthand the hard lives and smiles and children of the people who make those things. And I want more for them than to spend their lives in a factory churning out crap no one really needs. Some of my students work in the factories in South China in the summer, and I know some of them will end up there permanently. And they have so much potential! What would they be doing instead if this wer...

This weekend our Peace Corps regional director came to Chongqing in anticipation of the big meetings going on this week in Beijing, so several volunteers from nearby areas came into town to have dinner with him. A few of them crashed at my place. I'm not a woo girl, but, WOO, so much fun! It was just one big slumber party, and I love playing hostess, so I had a great time having them here. Saturday lunch we went for noodles. I don't think I've posted pictures before of how delicious pulled noodles here are, so here goes. First, the cook prepares the noodles by pulling the freshly made dough like taffy, pounding it down, then pulling again and again until it strings up into noodles. It's magical. Here are a few pictures (notice the tables and chairs--these places are very casual): And a close up of the dough-- he's smiling because he's shy: The noodles are put into big pots of boiling water standing by: And then the freshly boiled noodles are added to ...

Yesterday there was another eclipse here; I had no idea it would be happening, so it was quite random to look up in the sky and see the moon partially blocking out the sun. R. and I were on the bus going to meet up with folks for dinner, and I noticed people along the side of the road taking cell phone pics of the sky. I thought maybe a new building had been lit up or something. Then we happened to pass empty air space and see it, briefly, mostly obscured by smog of course. It was pretty neat, and pretty random. But too many buildings and too much smog, so no pics this time. It didn't get fully dark or cold like the full eclipse last summer, though, which is still one of the coolest things I have ever witnessed. I thought you might like to see one of the Chinese dishes I make here for myself. This dish is chicken, tiger prawns (which are like a cross between a green pepper and a jalepeno and I love them), green onions, garlic, Sichuan-pepper infused oil, french-fry cut potatoes ...

I'm getting to that point in my service where people are asking me what I'm going to do when I get home. For those that don't know, before coming into Peace Corps, I had a real life adult business job, a real life adult apartment full of real-life furniture, a car, etc. I still have the car, and the furniture (thanks mom for your storage help!), so it's time to decide about the job. (I've done my Masters but at least at this time, I'm not going to do a PhD. Maybe in a few years, we'll see.) My goal is to be an ESL teacher, either corporate or government. I've narrowed down the cities where I'll be job-searching, and I have thrown NYC into the ring. I always thought if I moved to NYC I'd live in Washington Heights, but I really do want to live in a Chinese community. So, in the near future, I'll be making a trip back to NYC for a tour around Flushing, Queens. I've never been there, and I have no idea what it's like. I just know a lot...

My grandma is not doing well. So, I am no longer going to Bali and Beijing over my break; instead, I'll be flying back to the U.S. to spend time with her and other family. I was looking forward to these trips, but Bali and Beijing will be there for a long while. Grandma comes first. I am sure those of you reading can understand and would do the same thing. Now, a few things to share about daily life in China: 1. Street cleaning trucks in my city play "Happy Birthday" in a high-pitched tone, over and over and over. There is also a techno version of Happy Birthday they play in clubs. How "Happy Birthday" became both of these things, I have no idea, but I never want to hear "Happy Birthday" again. 2. Overheard yesterday as I was walking home: a clothing store blasting "Jingle Bells" set to a disco-esque beat, including the phrases "Jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleee." Sleigh IS spelled like Leigh, I...

This list might also be applicable to others, but I can only speak for myself. 1. Never be in a hurry. 2. Understand that public services want to maximize the number of available jobs, not efficiency. 3. Hate ice water. 4. Accept parasites and bad bacteria as a consequence of eating. 5. Learn to say "ah ah ah ah" in rapidfire after someone says something to you; it's an acceptable response to almost anything, and saves you when you don't know what else to say. (It's also a more fun way to say goodbye on the phone, but then it's "ah ah ah ah ah bye ah ah ah bye bye bye ah ah bye." No, I am not exaggerating.) 6. Forget the concept 'personal space.' 7. Push back. 8. The phrase "I have something to do" is an all-purpose 'get out of anything free' card. Use it without guilt. 9. Only expect to do one extra thing per day because that one thing will take at least 4 times as long as it takes in your home country, and you'll be to...

I'm finally recovered from the flu; I'm not sure if the Chinese strain is the same as the U.S. or Canadian strain, but  it sure knocked me out. I'm back to my old self now, though. Hope you all have stayed healthy, and continue to be healthy. The last few weeks I've been panicking about leaving China. I know the economy back home isn't great and I worry about finding a job. But I also panic because I don't remember anymore how to live without China. How can I go back home and have no more contact with the Chinese language and culture and people? It has been almost my whole life here, how can it vanish into a black hole of nothingness overnight? One option is to stay here and relocate to very developed and easy-to-live-in Eastern China (Shanghai!) and find a well paying job, which with my qualifications, is probably more possible than in the U.S. right now. The other is to seek out a Chinese community in the States where I can go to Chinese school and shop in...

I'm up way too early this morning, so what else do you do when you wake up at 4 AM for no good reason?  Dream-shop online, of course. I am so unfashionable these days, and how I knew this would happen and I was willing to be unfashionable for the sake of being in the Peace Corps, but still: sometimes I feel like a blob. I like dressing up and wearing pretty clothes and shoes; it isn't a burden to me to wear 4-inch heels everyday. So when I came across these two photos online, all I could do is stop for a moment and sigh. I love camel boots, how great would these look with a chocolate brown coat? And I don't love living where I have to wear a coat, but if I DO have to wear a coat, I want it to be this one: I want one day where I get to be "me" again, and I go out on a date with a guy I'm really into, to a place where I get to wear entirely inconvenient footwear, and have a wonderful time. I promise this time, I'd even wear the right bra. But the...

In Chinese, the verb 'to know' as in 'understand and be aware of' is made up of two characters, 'know'  知 and 'way'  道 .* So in Chinese, understanding is not just knowing, it's knowing the way, or path, to take. I think this is a really beautiful sentiment, as well as a very wise one. I like the idea that a part of understanding is taking action. Understanding motivates action, and hopefully, the right action for you.  I'm trying to understand my 'calling' in life, my relationships, and my professional and personal goals. Maybe I don't need to be so hard on myself, that I don't understand it all easily. I'm still moving forward, which shows some level of understanding. Thanks, China, for this lesson. * 道 is also the character for Taoism, or 'The Way'

There are food vendors all over my neighborhood selling 'little eats' from early morning until late at night (or early morning again). Here are a few little eats foods that are popular in my neighborhood. (Click to enlarge.) Mantou (steamed buns, left) and baozi (steamed buns with savory filling, right). Baozi is popular for breakfast. The pork filling reminds me of school cafeteria mystery meat, I'm not a fan. But I do like mantou. Squid on a stick with lajiao (hot pepper) powder. Basically spicy calamari on a stick. Little steamed dough baskets filled with pork-cooked glutinous rice. They are very salty, but very delicious! I can only eat two before I get full. Shao kao (bbq). Veggies, meats, tofu and sometimes dumplings. You choose your foods and they grill it (what the lady is doing), then fry it in a wok with spices, peanuts, hot peppers, MSG, cilantro and chives (what her husband is doing). It's a great snack to eat when you are sitting at a be...