Rebecca A. Foster

Spanish culture places a high value on fun, which is why I believe boring is worse than bad. So when a man is repeatedly selfish/kinda jerky, I should immediately walk away, right? But if he's fun, I don't always right away. I'm not proud of this. Just keepin' it real, son. I showed the Nike ' Write the Future ' commercial in my employee training class this week and when Ronaldo came on screen, the guys immediately started with the "He's a douchebag" Ronaldo screed. I counterargued, "But he's so hot!" Which is true. You see, it's not that Ronaldo is NOT a jerk/douchebag, it's that I don't care. Don't need to. To a varying degree, this is also true of men I know: if I don't want to date them, it doesn't matter too much how selfish they are, or how often they contact or want to see me, as long as I have fun when they do. (Many guys I like I don't want to date seriously, for various reasons. And that goes bo...

(Note: oh gosh! This post is why I should only post in the daytime. I'm not a night person, I say silly things after 10:00 PM, even on this blog. But I'm leaving it up. The real me, or something.) Sometimes a guy whose opinion matters to you thinks you're desirable and it's awesome! Evolution in action. Sometimes they stop (or stop showing it) and you might think, "What did I do to stop being desirable?"  But someone else's actions (or lack of them) shouldn't change the inherent desirability you believe about yourself*. Of course, if he stops showing or saying it, move on and find someone who does . It's nice to believe you're desirable. It's nice to not have to rely solely on that, either. 1. As I like to say, "I have enough male friends now. If you don't want to put your tongue in my mouth, you're useless to me." 2. I have also said, to a guy I liked but who would come over at night and just talk talk talk, ...

Tossing out a flirt challenge and seeing it metaphorically fall with a thump at a man's feet? Sort of a non-recoverable letdown. But a man who cracks it back to you, even making you reach a bit? You don't forget a guy like that. Flirting isn't about "closing the deal" per se. One of my favorite flirt partners is gay. And hetero women flirt with each other, albeit in perhaps a different way than with men. Flirting is about noticing the other person has attractive qualities (note: not just physical) and making them feel it. Making them feel you notice. Making them feel you like it and appreciate it about them. I think a good flirtatious exchange leaves people feeling better about themselves. In fact, flirting should continue long after "closing the deal." I'd never be with a man I couldn't flirt with at all points in the continuum. At it's basic level, it's a stylized form of social interaction. At it's most fun level, it's mind...

I won't lie to you: sometimes I dream I'm shoe shopping and find the perfect shoes and wake up disappointed it was only a dream. I don't know if the shoes are symbolic of my hopes and dreams, or symbolic of my inner shallow depths, meaning, not symbolic at all and I just really like shoes. When I saw this pair by Christian Louboutin, they brought to mind the cliche "You don't flirt when a guy looks good, you flirt when YOU look good. " I'm sure I'd allow all sorts of liberties while wearing these shoes because I'd feel like the most beautiful girl in the room. I'd be thinking, how could this guy NOT want to flirt with me? Look at my shoes! (Yeah, I know most guys aren't really into women's shoes. But it might get you someplace flirty so just play along.) Obviously, should be worn with a subtle dress. Just like cleavage or legs but not both, well made-up eyes or lips but not both, these shoes take center stage. Good thing, too, I'...