Rebecca A. Foster

I liked Mindy Kaling's book, so I checked out her new show. This scene: so much yes. The girl on the far end? I've had that look on my face too, watching a man dance. It might be evolutionary, but I just assume a man who can dance well can do lots of things well. Even if I never do anything other than watch him dance (this is almost 100% the case), I still know. I've developed a near-instant crush on a guy who impresses me with his heretofore unknown moves, and lost all romantic feeling upon the discovery that we don't move well together at all . Dancing is a fun date activity because of what it tells you about the two of you together: Shy? Rhythmic? Adventurous?  In tune with each other? Is he embarrassed I would get up on the bar or Hell yes, she's leaving with me!  enthusiastic? I recognize it is not a clear-cut indicator, because I am often waaay more shy outside of dancing than I am while doing it, but it does give you some indication of your combined chem...

My little brother is in graduate school for Speech Pathology and I was helping him practice his assessment techniques. He asked me to put the tip of my tongue on the roof of my mouth and open wide. I could barely get my teeth and lips separated. It went something like this: Him: "Okay, open." Me: *barely opens* Him: "No, like this." *touches tongue to roof of his mouth, opens wide* Me: *barely opens* "I'm trying, that's as far as it will go!" Him: "Seriously, you can't open it any farther? Well, okay..." *records something on his paper* Me: "AM I DEFORMED OR WHAT TELL ME NOW" He assured me I was deformed but it was cool, it wasn't going to hurt anything. Haha. No, he told me it was fine, it just meant my tongue was closely and firmly attached behind my bottom teeth more than other peoples' tongues and I have a high palate to boot. How did I live this long and not know my tongue is too tight?? Has anyone I...

Spanish culture places a high value on fun, which is why I believe boring is worse than bad. So when a man is repeatedly selfish/kinda jerky, I should immediately walk away, right? But if he's fun, I don't always right away. I'm not proud of this. Just keepin' it real, son. I showed the Nike ' Write the Future ' commercial in my employee training class this week and when Ronaldo came on screen, the guys immediately started with the "He's a douchebag" Ronaldo screed. I counterargued, "But he's so hot!" Which is true. You see, it's not that Ronaldo is NOT a jerk/douchebag, it's that I don't care. Don't need to. To a varying degree, this is also true of men I know: if I don't want to date them, it doesn't matter too much how selfish they are, or how often they contact or want to see me, as long as I have fun when they do. (Many guys I like I don't want to date seriously, for various reasons. And that goes bo...

(Note: oh gosh! This post is why I should only post in the daytime. I'm not a night person, I say silly things after 10:00 PM, even on this blog. But I'm leaving it up. The real me, or something.) Sometimes a guy whose opinion matters to you thinks you're desirable and it's awesome! Evolution in action. Sometimes they stop (or stop showing it) and you might think, "What did I do to stop being desirable?"  But someone else's actions (or lack of them) shouldn't change the inherent desirability you believe about yourself*. Of course, if he stops showing or saying it, move on and find someone who does . It's nice to believe you're desirable. It's nice to not have to rely solely on that, either. 1. As I like to say, "I have enough male friends now. If you don't want to put your tongue in my mouth, you're useless to me." 2. I have also said, to a guy I liked but who would come over at night and just talk talk talk, ...

I like to use the word 'lick' to convey my attraction/desire for someone. Mulder: after all these years, still very lickable.   This picture also reminds me: beard burn? Always worth it. (It also reminds of the pictures I never shared from last Halloween because I had beard rash in places other than my face.)  And this might be the military brat it me, but men with badges are hot. Even when they're not hot, they're still hot.  If Don Draper had a badge, I'd probably kitten-lick him to death. I mean, come on . 

(If you are related to me, maybe you don't want to read this.) I think some people come from kissy families, some do not. I come from a kissy family; I'm sure this was largely due to my mom's Chilean-ness. (Some of my clearest memories of visiting Chile are of being kissed by every old woman I saw.) I love that in Chilean culture, you kiss strangers upon being introduced. So friendly! (Maybe also other Spanish cultures, not sure.) In San Antonio, it is quite common for friends to greet each other with a kiss. I got used to this. In China, I had kissing friends and non-kissing friends. When the kissing friends met up in public, I wonder if we shocked the Chinese around us, who don't hug or touch upon greeting, let alone kiss. I noticed my kissing friends in China were mostly Italian or of Italian heritage, or from the East Coast. Are you a kisser? My non-kissing friends are REALLY non-kissing. Funny how that happens. When I was younger, I thought kissing was either...

Swear on the bible, earlier this week I saw a picture of Jake Gyllenhaal in internet-passing and thought, "I bet there's a good chance if he met me, he'd ask me out." This means one of three things: 1. My self-esteem is waaay out of control 2. I'm delusional 3. I'm delusional I don't ever think this about famous people, but you know what? I bet if I met Jake Gyllenhaal in person, he'd want to ask me out. He looks like a bunch of guys I went to college with, and they seemed to like me just fine. It could happen! Hehehe. _____ I've accepted that Google pretty much owns me; gchat, Google voice, gmail-- everything they do, I love. Except Buzz. That sucked. But everything else is great. I actually get disappointed when I have friends who use yahoo and hotmail because then we can't gchat. Which brings me to my second point: I've noticed lately that men kinda dislike email. One guy I know, he'll always answer my emails, but he...

I think South Asians pretty much win genetics. Thanks rest of the world for playing, here's your silver medal. Remember this guy? There's a reason Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle is my favorite movie: I don’t know who this dude is, but he’s cute, eh? And then there’s this video (embedding disabled by request, I shake my fist at you!); these are just some really attractive people! Now, I know the people in tv and movies tend to be a little more attractive than the average population, but I’d take one of these guys over Bradley Cooper any day.  I think it’s the lips. Sooooo kissable.

1. Any food you eat in bed tastes exponentially better. 2. It’s okay to admit you hate camping. When I was younger, I sort of made myself believe I liked the outdoors because most of the guys I was interested in were mountain men on the side. The truth is, I like hot showers and seafood buffets and soft hotel beds, so sue me!  On the plus side, when you admit that out loud, you find the people who feel the same way. Amazing. 3. Something more expensive that will last over time is a much better deal than cheaper and easily broken. This is especially true of shoes and appliances. 4. The question is not “Are you single?” The question should be: “Are there any girls who you know think they’re your girlfriend?” 5. Sometimes what is holding us back is the fear of our own success, either because we don’t think we deserve it, or we don’t want the responsibility that comes with it. 6. A guy who wants to help you carry your bags or pay for things doesn’t necessarily think you’re in...

This weekend it’s my birthday (go Pisces!), so I’m heading to Vegas for a long weekend. One of my best friends, FloJo, also has a birthday this weekend, and it’s tradition for us to celebrate together; we missed last year because I was in China, but this year, it is ON. She lives in Vegas, so this is an easy and fun trip for me. Our big plans are to shop and eat (sorry T., no poker, you forgot to give me money!) and perhaps see a movie. Did you know Sephora gives you a free gift on your birthday? They do! So we’ll be hanging out there as well. (Sephora ties with Target as my happy place—I’m a make up and skincare junkie.) I love the shops along the Strip. I can’t afford anything, but it’s fun to look. And speaking of looking… …thanks to The Hangover , I can’t think of Vegas without thinking of Bradley  Cooper. He’s not even really my type (I'm usually not attracted to fair, blue-eyed guys, although there was a big exception), but there is something about him that is really attra...

My grandma is not doing well. So, I am no longer going to Bali and Beijing over my break; instead, I'll be flying back to the U.S. to spend time with her and other family. I was looking forward to these trips, but Bali and Beijing will be there for a long while. Grandma comes first. I am sure those of you reading can understand and would do the same thing. Now, a few things to share about daily life in China: 1. Street cleaning trucks in my city play "Happy Birthday" in a high-pitched tone, over and over and over. There is also a techno version of Happy Birthday they play in clubs. How "Happy Birthday" became both of these things, I have no idea, but I never want to hear "Happy Birthday" again. 2. Overheard yesterday as I was walking home: a clothing store blasting "Jingle Bells" set to a disco-esque beat, including the phrases "Jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleee." Sleigh IS spelled like Leigh, I...

1. Chinglish thing I said on the phone: "I hope you feel very a lot better." The word for 'very' is frequently used in Chinese articulation. I try to break my students of adding 'very' to everything, but looks like I've caught the 'very' bug. D'oh! 2. This week I jumped into a taxi while it was making a u-turn in the middle of a busy intersection. I could see a bunch of people waiting on the other side of the street for a taxi, so I darted out in traffic and jumped in while it was pausing in the u-turn. The driver didn't even blink. I could hear people on my side of the street saying, "Look at that foreign girl!" I think I now have my PhD in Chinese Taxi Hailing. I wonder how my skills will transfer to NYC taxi hailing? 3. A couple of the Peace Corps guys here play on an expat (mostly British, Australian and American) rugby team. Our team always loses. There aren't a lot of foreigners in Chongqing compared to other large Chine...

So, did you know Mad Men  Season 3 is premiering soon? Spoiler alert: nothing much happens in this show, it's a lot of talking, but the talking is really interesting and the 1960's clothes are fabulous. Also, Don Draper is hot in that 'you're-sort-of-a-scumbag-but-you-wear-the-hell-out-of-that-suit-and-I-love-your-late-night-shagging-stubble' kind of way. I recommend it. I bought it on the street for $1.00, but I think it's free in America on cable. And in preparation for the 3rd season premiere, you can make your own Mad Men person a. Here I am getting hit on by Don Draper: So realistic, you guys. I can't go to NYC without getting hit on by ad men. It's the hat and gloves, I think. (And I do actually own a hat like that, and elbow gloves. Definitely taking them to NYC.) And you just know this guy smells like Indiana Jones in a suit: all man .  Jon Hamm , I salute you. (And yes, I miss big, strong American men, why do you ask?)

This has nothing to do with China, but I always wonder how my brain can be such a partier when I'm asleep, yet so practical when I'm awake. What's up with that, brain? I had a dream last night I was in a romantic relationship with a guy that in real life I've had exactly one conversation with and didn't feel any sort of romantic feelings for. He's cute, fun, blah blah blah but decidedly unremarkable to me. He just didn't push any of my buttons. Or so I thought. Evidently my subconscious thinks we are MFEO. Why does my brain conjure up romantic feelings for someone I don't think about in my waking life, and bypass men I actually DO pine over? How about a nice romantic dream with one of them, brain? Is that too much to ask? And isn't it a little scary that our brains can so perfectly replicate feelings of romance and longing for someone we have no conscious feelings for? Are feelings even real? I also think it's weird when I dream that I'm ...

I like text messaging a lot more than sending emails because texts have no subject line. Subject lines are awkward. Do we walk up to someone and announce what we are going to talk about? No. Email fail. "If you think he's a good guy, you might be wrong, but if you think he's a bad guy, you're definitely right." A quotation by Diane Farr. I now totally believe this. Instincts ftw! I'm craving corn dogs with mustard. One thing I've learned about myself from living in China: I have very low food standards. Forget laughter, a good kiss is the best medicine.

I learned something heartbreaking today: John Krasinski can't dance! Para nada!  In this week's episode of The Office , he looked like an awkward 12 year old boy. So sad. And true story: I've never met a man who was a bad dancer who was also a good kisser. Bad dancer = bad LOTS of things. Busy Bee Suzy asked me about English names for Chinese students.  All English majors choose an English name to use throughout their college career, and even many non-English majors do too. Their Chinese teachers make them choose, this isn't a foreign teacher thing. They often choose random words instead of traditional names, so I have students named Sin, Xanadu, Sunfree, Seabird, Jelly, Apple, Little Mosquito, Devil, Stone, Hip, etc. Some of them will choose a more traditional name if they plan on working with foreigners. For example, the secretary of our Foreign Affairs Office goes by Cassie and her Chinese family name when she deals with foreigners; her email address reflects both ...

Rob Pattinson: that perfect jawline, that sexy scruff,  those green eyes. *sigh* Still lickable.  He's the male equivalent of marshmallow cream, and sometimes, a girl needs cream. (Next post, we return to our regularly scheduled Chinese adventures.) (Picture via vanityfair.com  )

Okay, I haven't licked him, but I'm pretty sure I would love it. I think it's the eyes. And the hair. He reminds me of a quotation I once read: "It's unfortunate that women find rash men so appealing, but they do, because deep down every woman knows a man who won't kill for her is useless."  I have a habit of saying I want to lick people. And by "people" I mean "hot men." I don't mean it literally, it just means: "Mmmmm, tasty!" If I describe a guy as "I kinda wanted to lick him," i.e. my co-teacher and neighbor Andrew answering the door shirtless, I mean it as a compliment. (Picture: Actor Robert Pattinson) 

I saw this picture today on the interweb and thought, "Mmmmm...he looks like a good kisser."  Here's why: 1. The hand on the back of her head. I love this move! Along with the cheek, chin, and hand sliding inside the hair on the back of the head; these are the sweet spots of a good kiss. 2. Other hand on her hip, no lower, no higher. (Good for first-ish kisses and public kisses, unless you KNOW she likes more in public, which I do not. So I like this.) 3. He thoughtfully brings along a plank for her to stand on so she doesn't get neck-crick. (Haha.) 4. Kissing her fully on the lips. I used to take this for granted, but you get a lot of variation with this one. I like a lip-to-tongue ratio of about 2/3 to 1/3 in action. So I like this. 5. A man who will keep you warm with kisses is a good man to find.   p.s., if you have time to think about any of these things during the kiss, it ain't so great. I'm just saying is all. 

I often find myself attracted to men who are not so verbally expressive, but are really good with their bodies. Their work might involve physical action and agility, or their favorite hobbies require it. They know where they are in space at all times. They use their bodies, not their mouths, to express thoughts and emotions.  And I am none of these things. I am constantly covered in bruises. I've knocked myself out cold, more than once. I sometimes feel awkward and uncomfortable expressing with my body what is happening in my head*. I guess in falling for these men, I'm attracted to what I lack. There is something very ying-yangy about it that is hard to resist. It can be hard, though, to make such a man understand that lack of physical comfort doesn't equal lack of feeling, that it takes time for a word-centered person to express and orient themselves physically. I have had some good, and bad, experiences with this. But it's nice when we can find middle ground. *Dancin...