Rebecca A. Foster

I liked Mindy Kaling's book, so I checked out her new show. This scene: so much yes. The girl on the far end? I've had that look on my face too, watching a man dance. It might be evolutionary, but I just assume a man who can dance well can do lots of things well. Even if I never do anything other than watch him dance (this is almost 100% the case), I still know. I've developed a near-instant crush on a guy who impresses me with his heretofore unknown moves, and lost all romantic feeling upon the discovery that we don't move well together at all . Dancing is a fun date activity because of what it tells you about the two of you together: Shy? Rhythmic? Adventurous?  In tune with each other? Is he embarrassed I would get up on the bar or Hell yes, she's leaving with me!  enthusiastic? I recognize it is not a clear-cut indicator, because I am often waaay more shy outside of dancing than I am while doing it, but it does give you some indication of your combined chem...

(Note: oh gosh! This post is why I should only post in the daytime. I'm not a night person, I say silly things after 10:00 PM, even on this blog. But I'm leaving it up. The real me, or something.) Sometimes a guy whose opinion matters to you thinks you're desirable and it's awesome! Evolution in action. Sometimes they stop (or stop showing it) and you might think, "What did I do to stop being desirable?"  But someone else's actions (or lack of them) shouldn't change the inherent desirability you believe about yourself*. Of course, if he stops showing or saying it, move on and find someone who does . It's nice to believe you're desirable. It's nice to not have to rely solely on that, either. 1. As I like to say, "I have enough male friends now. If you don't want to put your tongue in my mouth, you're useless to me." 2. I have also said, to a guy I liked but who would come over at night and just talk talk talk, ...

Read this article today about a new line of candles geared toward men, with smells like 'Lawnmower' and '2x4.' What they really need to make are a line of candles that smell like men's accoutrement, such as 'Men's Locker Room When All The Soap And Cologne Mingle Together And They Are Only Wearing Little White Towels.' A guy in a little white towel should be on the label. I would buy the sh*t out of that candle. Other ideas: Men's Neck Smell Blue Eyes and a Cute Smile Green Eyes and Dimples Playing With Your Hair Nice Hands Holding Hands Walking Down A Busy City Street Then Stopping For Street Food Yum Cuddling On A Bench Waiting For The Subway To Start Running After A Night Out Sweating After Doing A Hard Task Men's Soft Hair  Fire (Oh wait I think they have this one already.) This is just off the top of my head. I could go on. 

This is awkward for me to write because I don't have much experience with men. This scene was too familiar for comfort, though. Have you ever liked/been attracted to someone who doesn't like themselves a lot so they can't understand why *you'd* like them and they self-sabotage because they just don't think they deserve it? I have, and it sucks. It hurts to see someone walk away because they don't believe they are worth having. Who actually says, "People don't like me once they get to know me" and you realize later they really believe that. Heart-breaking, in fact. I cried a lot over this dude. But there isn't any way to make someone believe how wonderful they are if they can't believe it for themselves. And because my life isn't a tv show or movie, things don't work out and you lose them in your life. (The other difference is that I never had sex with him.) I've also experienced men who treat you like a victor's match, w...

Confession: I love having someone else to help zip up my dresses. And zip down. It feels very decadent, no? And did you know this dress exists? I had no idea, until I was googling 'zipper.' All I can think is, it must be very uncomfortable in hot weather. Ouch! I also love my black & beige zebra print napkins I bought at Pier 1 Imports years ago. Tried to find them online to show you a photo, but looks like they don't carry them right now. I'm too lazy to go take a picture so: picture zebra print napkins. I love them. Just for M: Zoolander's best scene .

Last Spring V. and I were meeting up at the train station to travel together to our end-of-service conference in Chengdu; I got to the train station first and it was an uncharacteristically sort-of sunny day (one of our five days of sunshine a year, whoot!) so I sat outside to wait for him. A couple of Chinese grandmas and grandpas came over to find out A: "What are you doing in China?" and B: "Where is your umbrella, young lady, that sun is going to turn you brown!" One of the grandmas clucked her displeasure at my insistence that I liked the sunshine and didn't mind if I got a little darker. She stood next to me holding an umbrella over my head anyway, like I was an Egyptian queen on a barge (but there were no be-loincloth-ed men around, darn it). Chinese grandmas do what they want. Just as she was giving me another speech about my poor sun judgment and how it was going to make me too dark, V. walked up; his complexion is a little darker than mine, and grand...

This past 4th of July was hot, rainy and humid as Hades in Chongqing. We had our 4th of July American-style barbecue in the 8th floor stairwell because of the rain, which gradually moved into one of our apartments, because of the heat. One of the volunteers was dating a Chinese girl who spoke very fluent English and she came to our party. In the apartment we started talking about sex, as rained-out Americans in mixed company are want to do. I found out later this girl was shocked that we would discuss such things in mixed company in such detail, as this is just not done in Chinese culture. And, she was shocked at how much sex education we all had and felt comfortable discussing, period. Of course, we thought nothing of it. It reminded me that learning the language of another culture does not always equal understanding the culture. (This was also the weekend T. ate food he'd dropped on the stairwell floor and the next day got too sick to leave my apartment to go home and the resulti...

Sex Ed is basically non-existent here in China (and some parts of the U.S.!), so Peace Corps has a program for teaching basic sexual health/HIV&AIDS prevention etc. Several volunteers in my area have given this lecture and I'm going to ask to do it at my school next year. It's gender specific and culturally appropriate for this area. In addition to the health issues, we can talk about dating and social issues that aren't usually discussed here. During the past year, I've talked with several women about sexual pressure. It's disheartening to realize how many women have felt pressured sexually to do things they're not comfortable with, and that it is often seen as something that "happens to everyone." So here are some things I'd want my students (and all people!) to know: 1. It's okay to tell their partner if something makes them feel uncomfortable. 2. It's okay to expect their partner to listen to them and not pressure them. 3. If ...