The Black Hole Of Words I Don't Have

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English is missing a word that means 'desire + regret + anxiety + memory + loss + wistfulness'. The nearest I can get is 'Melancholy.' It's not sufficient.

But if I could distill all the words in this song, I think I'd be a little closer to the word I'm lacking: 


(I thought this was a new song because I'd never heard it before, but it came out when I was in China. A black hole of knowledge filling a black hole of words. If I were smarter, I'd have something clever to say about that.)

Mamihlapinatapai. The greatest word I just learned exists. But not the one I'm missing. 

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