Rebecca A. Foster

V.and I left Chongqing at the same time, and we left together by long distance bus so we wouldn’t have to haul all of our luggage onto/off of the train, through the train station, etc. If you go by bus, they just throw it on underneath the bus, much easier! So we had a plan to meet at 9 AM at the very chaotic and crowded bus station. In Chinese culture, you never let someone leave alone. They even have a verb for it, ‘song’, which can mean roughly ‘seeing someone off.’ To song someone means to walk them outside (not just to the door), make sure they get into a taxi/car/bus whatever okay, and maybe even pay for it. (I have gotten into more than one good-natured fight with Chinese friends over who is paying for my taxi home!) If someone’s leaving town, you take them to the station and wait until they leave. I love this tradition, it’s very sweet, and it’s taken very seriously. V.’s student was songing him to the bus station, and my Chinese friend Cassie was songing me. V. and his stu...

Last year Chongqing got a new mayor, and he initiated a huge mafia crackdown in Chongqing. It was the talk of the city, and Chinese news, for my last 6 months or so. People were arrested, some executed, and the entire police force had to change their station assignments to try to break up the rings. It didn’t affect me too much directly, but it was something people talked about in casual conversation, which I found to be rather remarkable. In my experience, Chinese friends didn’t talk to me about the government (and I never brought it up, either). But they filled me in on the daily developments of who was being arrested, the amount of money being exchanged in the mafia rings, and how it was changing the city police assignments etc. One thing that did affect me was the end of the late-night mafia buses. Of course, prior to the arrests, I didn’t know they were mafia buses. All I knew was they were the only buses that ran all-night routes I regularly needed, saving me some expensive t...

1. Over the weekend I had to wait for something and there were very few places to sit, but two seats were open: one next to a Caucasian guy, and one next to an Asian guy. And it was really crowded, so I sat next to the Asian guy, because I thought he might be better with me being really close to him. This is awful, but true. Also, he didn't flinch at all when I sat right next to him. Related: the first time someone here apologized after bumping into me, I almost laughed out loud. I hadn't even noticed they did it. 2. I had dinner with a friend of a friend at a Chinese restaurant, and we decided to order family style. This is how pretty much all my Chinese meals in China were eaten so I am very comfortable with this. But I guess to him, family style meant "sharing" not "eating out of the same plates of food." So I inadvertently grossed him out by sticking my own chopsticks in the plate of Kung Pao Chicken. I guess I'm not ready to be taken out in publ...

So, wiser heads than me tell me I am experiencing reverse culture shock. And that it will fade in time. And this is supposed to be comforting, and it is, but it is also scary to me. Because there are some things I don't WANT to fade. Here is one example: I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond over the weekend and I was just unexpectedly furious at all of the crap for sale that no one really needs for any reason other than laziness. You know the front of the store, where they put all the little gadgets and gizmos things on special? I was just disgusted seeing all of that, and sad, because I've seen firsthand the hard lives and smiles and children of the people who make those things. And I want more for them than to spend their lives in a factory churning out crap no one really needs. Some of my students work in the factories in South China in the summer, and I know some of them will end up there permanently. And they have so much potential! What would they be doing instead if this wer...

It is harder to adjust to coming home than I imagined. A few things: 1. Reacclimating to American culture is stressful, because I don't always know how to act. And the cultural diversity I love so much (and missed so much) is unexpectedly stressful to deal with. R. and I have had some conversations about this and luckily I'm not just weird, it's hard for her too. It's comforting to know it's common, but still: it sucks. I'll write about some specific things when I have a chance. 2. I still dream every night I'm in China. My brain hasn't caught up with the fact I'm not going back to China. When this finally sinks in, I expect to have a little meltdown about it. 3. I'm on the road right now visiting friends out of state. I really needed this. Pardon my silence. 4. Some American friends I made in China have been very easy and natural to keep in touch with. Others have not. And without saying too much publicly, these categories are not popula...

The last time I flew to America from China I took Air China, which has a Chinese flight crew. This time I took United, which meant we had an American flight crew. The young Chinese guy in the row ahead of me brought a lot of carry-on luggage, and I watched through culturally enlightened eyes the way the flight attendant tried to deal with him. She was being so American! And he was being so Chinese! She kept telling him that it wasn't fair for him to have three bags, because it meant that someone else wouldn't have space for their luggage. And he kept answering in a very Chinese way: "But my bags are already here, and they fit." And she kept right on with her very American line of reasoning that the fair thing to do is to check some of his bags. And he wouldn't give an inch, because he didn't see why he should. In China, if you're first, you win. And that's that. And I'm watching this go on for 5 or so minutes and I want to tell this woman, "...

I made my way back to the USA this past weekend; I didn’t go straight to America after leaving Chongqing, but had a great final week with friends. I cried A LOT. Some people got the brunt of this, and because they are of the man variety, I feel a little bad. But the tears were in part because I would miss them so much, so hopefully they at least felt flattered I cared so much.  Reverse culture shock? Yes, absolutely a real thing. Not just for me, but for my family having to deal with me. I’m sure at times they are thinking,”Who ARE you now?” It’s the little things here driving me crazy: personal distance, driving with RULES, small talk, concepts of time, American germaphobia, and the utter lack of people everywhere I go. I feel like I’ve survived a plague. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful to have so much calmness around me, but it’s also really weird. I feel really socially awkward right now. I’m pretty sure I’ve been rude to a few people because I got all Chinese on them in th...