24 Hour Party People, Or, The Benefits of Low Expectations

When I was home in February, people kept asking me what I was going to do the next day. How should I know? It’s the next day! “I’ll decide tomorrow” I’d tell them. I think this annoyed some of them. Or at least, perplexed them. What happened to the Rebecca who planned everything out two weeks in advance? She got lost in the chaos of China.

Here’s a little something not everyone knows about Chinese culture: it’s very spontaneous. It’s uncommon to make plans more than a day in advance. In fact, a few hours (or less) is more common. At first, this drove me crazy; it felt like people were springing things on me at the last minute I was not prepared for. But now? Bring it. I’m ready for anything. Let’s do this.

Here’s an example of how things unfold in China:

1. Monday afternoon, I made plans to meet R.* for. dinner. After dinner, we decided to go back to her place. Around midnight, J. texted to suggest we meet for the lunch the next day. I stayed the night and took the bus home in the morning. I spent about two hours doing some work, then-

2. met J. for lunch. While I was at lunch with J.-

3. T. called to ask me to meet-up downtown. J. was headed that way to meet some of our other friends for a teaching meeting (which I didn’t have to be a part of because I am going home, woot woot!), so I went directly with J., hung out until T. arrived, went out for a bit with T., then headed back to J'.’s location. When the meeting was over-

4. we all had (an unplanned) dinner downtown-

5. then went to our friend G.’s house to play cards. Later that night-

6. I spontaneously stayed the night at V.’s (he was part of the dinner/poker group and lives near G.), then came home on the bus today.

And that’s how things roll, Chinese style.

One perk of this concept of time and planning: if things fall through or don’t turn out so well, it’s not taken as seriously. There wasn’t really a plan anyway. I’m often the beneficiary of low expectations.

I don’t really look forward to returning to planning, American style. You know, where you and a friend have to coordinate schedules and choose a time a few days (or weeks) down the road? That sucks.

*I use people’s first initial instead of their full name for googling privacy, not to be coy.