Rebecca A. Foster

When I have to sum up this past year? FUN! (This picture is from when I lived in San Antonio, before my dad got sick. I was really happy and carefree. I think it shows on my face. I'd take a new picture but I lost my camera in the move. So, this old one will have to do.) Probably some of the most fun times of my life. Okay, coming home from China and transitioning back to America was tough, but it was worth it for all the fun times that caused the big letdown. I mean, you can't go that low unless you've been that high, right? I was that high. (Not literally.) Probably the two biggest lessons I learned this year are: 1. Ain't nothing wrong with a good time. It's okay to just be happy. I'm a lucky, lucky girl. 2. Forgiveness is not about the other person at all, it's about you. I used to be reluctant to let go of those bad feelings that happen when someone hurts you a lot because it was like letting them win. Well, *I'm* the one carrying t...

This past 4th of July was hot, rainy and humid as Hades in Chongqing. We had our 4th of July American-style barbecue in the 8th floor stairwell because of the rain, which gradually moved into one of our apartments, because of the heat. One of the volunteers was dating a Chinese girl who spoke very fluent English and she came to our party. In the apartment we started talking about sex, as rained-out Americans in mixed company are want to do. I found out later this girl was shocked that we would discuss such things in mixed company in such detail, as this is just not done in Chinese culture. And, she was shocked at how much sex education we all had and felt comfortable discussing, period. Of course, we thought nothing of it. It reminded me that learning the language of another culture does not always equal understanding the culture. (This was also the weekend T. ate food he'd dropped on the stairwell floor and the next day got too sick to leave my apartment to go home and the resulti...

My favorite kind of light bulb is the GE Soft Pink bulb; I had them in every lamp in my apartment in San Antonio, and it was lovely being bathed in a soft, flattering pale blush glow. I tried to make sure all my dates saw me near a lamp as often as possible. Side note: you know how in old movies when things get romantic, the light gets all soft and fuzzy? There should be a way for that to happen in real life too; it would be so helpful! I'd know exactly what was on his mind and I could gear up for it. (I hate surprises. Also, I am a dork and usually thinking about, oh, light bulbs and stuff. I miss the cues sometimes.)  Target in San Antonio carried pink bulbs and it was never a big deal to buy them, but they're non-existent everywhere I've checked here. Where did all the pink bulbs go? I found them online-- $60 for 12, plus shipping. Um, maybe not!  I kept checking and did find a cheaper price, phew! So, I have to have pink bulbs shipped in? Really, light bulbs? I have...

The book Salt is fascinating, if you are into the history of how common items influence history and customs and such. The author traces the impact salt has had on societies since recorded history. He makes the point that how we feel about oil is how previous societies felt about salt; think we'll ever get to a point where oil is a non-issue? (Not because of supplies, but because of reduced necessity?) I also loved the part where he talked about the Sichuan rural peasant making declarations about Chinese inventions apropos of nothing. Totally. The Chinese do love their declarations! Salt, by Mark Kurlansky __________ This sparked a realization: iodine deficiency. Pretty sure I had it in China. In about my fifth month there, my hair started falling out in too-large-for-comfort chunks. I was horrified, as I am pretty vain. I called our doctor about it and she told me I needed to diversify my diet; I was a vegetarian and my normal protein substitutes (mainly dairy and nuts) were...

An article from this week about how younger people hate email. I wrote about it weeks ago! Get with the program, NYT. You are so 2000. Link to the article.  My goal to not email didn't go so well. I think I lasted about 6 hours. Oh well. ______________ I was reminded this week of a conversation T. and I had when I was in China. I told him that something good had happened (I can't remember now what it was) because he was such a decent guy. His response? T.: "Ugggghh, decent? That's a bad word to a guy. It's like me saying, "You have a great personality." Me: "I DO have a great personality!" T.: "Ok, yes you do, but still no guy wants to be called decent! It means they're not exciting or sexy or something." Me: "Okay. I won't say it again." T.: "Well, I probably am decent. I just have to live with it. Damn it!" Before this I had no idea 'decent' was such a loaded word. So now instead of...

I'm a little bit enamored of the idea of Queens, NY. I've never been there except for riding to and from JFK and LaGuardia, which doesn't count. But I've heard there is a large population of Mandarin speakers in Flushing, Queens, and I really, really wanna hang out in Mandarin-speaking Chinatown for a day or two. Historically, the majority of Chinese who immigrated to the U.S. were Cantonese speakers; hence Szechuan food instead of Sichuan food. (I'm gonna call it: Sichuan wins. But actually they speak Sichuan dialect, not Mandarin, in Sichuan province. China is kinda complicated.) But some of that is changing and Flushing is one of those areas. I supposed not many people dream of a vacation in Queens, but I've rescheduled my Boston trip for St. Patrick's Day/Evacuation Day next March and I'm trying to work out swinging by NYC a few days prior. If so, I'm definitely going to Flushing. I need to eat some delicious foods and buy sketchy Chinese produ...

I've had this little pig since I was a toddler. As you can see, it's been broken a few times. I loved this pig so much, I'd carry it around like it was a stuffed animal. I got very upset when I'd drop and break it, and even though it was just a worthless, cheap ceramic pig, my dad glued it back together each time. I've saved it as a reminder of one of the qualities I admire most about my dad: if it was important to you, it was important to him. Another thrift store find: my vintage Pendleton wool, double-breasted peacoat. Very heavy, very warm. I got it for $15 about ten years ago. It's been in storage for years and years because I didn't need a coat after I moved to San Antonio. I considered taking it to China, but it's so heavy it would have taken up precious weight in my luggage. But, the coat is back! The first time my mom saw it, she said, "Ew, it looks like something an old grandpa would wear." I KNOW, that's why it's awesome! ...

I'm revisiting my last letter, I realized I had more to say about it. My last two posts were pretty serious, so how about something more light-hearted for now? 1. Old Things. My mom abhors old things, so I know I get this from my dad, in some cases literally. This little desk was his nightstand during college, but I remember it as the place he stored wiring and electronics, etc. He gave it to me, I painted it black (not well-- needs to be redone) and I use it to store toiletries/medicine cabinet stuff. I reckon this little chest is about 40+ years old now. I love it because it was my dad's. He also gave me his Army toolbox, and a really cool old Army messenger-type bag from the 1940s. I think he got it at a surplus store, but he used it as a fishing bag and I cherish it. It's in storage right now and I have a cold and am too chicken to venture out in the snow for it. I'll share a picture another day. I bought my bed at a used furniture store for $200. It's b...

Note: I moved into a new apartment this weekend, I'm way behind in my correspondence. I love my new apartment though; the walk-in closet is bigger than the kitchen, and includes a lighted vanity mirror and sink area for getting ready in the closet . Perfect apartment for me. ______ Story #2: This guy, I knew him before I went to China. I thought he was charming, funny, smart, interesting, handsome, and I put him on a bit of a pedestal. We were not equals when it came to life experience. I liked that about him! At that time, I was grieving for my dad and not feeling very strong. It felt good to have someone who was more knowledgeable and strong to look up to. I spent my final weekend with him before I went to China. Peace Corps discourages you from having friends or family join you for that final weekend before you depart, but I thought it would be okay because he was so great. But that weekend was much more stressful than I thought it would be; I was moving to completely un...

I'm going to be brutally honest about some men I know. (Not on the same day.) But both of these men gave me experiences that taught me something, so I'm sharing it. If they read it and recognize themselves, well, I guess now they know. Story 1:  Chemistry, it is a mystery. I had a close male friend in Chongqing. We saw each other a lot, laughed a lot, ate together a lot, watched online tv together a lot, took taxis and buses and subways together a lot, blah blah blah. One night we were at McDonalds at 2:00 a.m., which is sometimes what you do in China when you miss America and our delicious, fake food. I was sleepy, so while we waited for our food, I put my arm around him and leaned my head on his shoulder for a little rest. He was a great rest-support post.  He responded by running his hand lightly up and down my back, something he'd never done before, and instantly I felt the effects of that hand everywhere, all over my body, all at once. Well, that was unexpected. He ...

I know many of you are bilingual; so cool! I wish I spoke another language fluently/native-like. I don't. But I do like adopting the words I love in other languages into English, without translating them. I've talked here before about a few words I wish we had equivalents for in English. Here are a couple more: 1. Sancha Origin: Spanish. Means: 'The girl on the side.' We don't have a great translation for it into English. Concubine? Mistress? Illicit Lover? None of those really capture how I heard sancha used in everyday conversation, which in San Antonio, was frequently. (What this says about San Antonians, I'm not sure.) Anyway, I always heard it used as a girl on the side you flirt with and have feelings for, but not necessarily doing anything about. Although you might be. It covers a wide range of doing-ness or not. But if you are in a monogamous relationship, you probably don't want your SO to have a sancha. 2. Ganbei Origin: Mandarin. Means: Em...

I got this t-shirt at Target several years ago. Yes, I do love nerds. Nerds know cool things! And can do cool stuff!  Now, saying you like nerds is not the same as saying you like socially awkward types, although there might be some overlap*. To me, nerds are people who care a lot about something and invest themselves in it deeply and don't care if it's cool or not; they do something because they love it, not because they care what anyone else thinks about it. And if it's not mainstream? All the cooler. Nerds unite! *I'm okay with socially awkward. It can be cute. _____ I hate wearing clothes. I'd go topless all the time if I could. My mom used to always say she hated wearing clothes and I was so scandalized by this! Moms should be dressed at all times! But now I totally get it. I have a bit of a reputation of liking to wear as little as possible, whenever possible. (I was gchatting with someone and they connected by video; me: "Um, I'm not dressed....

At work I have not one, but two 22-inch high def monitors, plus my 17-inch MacBook Pro. When I come home, my 15-inch laptop seems soooo small and quaint, like I'm using an old Atari or something. I am definitely spoiled by my big, high-def monitors. ___________ I'm a make-up junkie and MAC has some of my favorite colors. It isn't my favorite make-up; I prefer Chanel, Dior and Urban Decay for quality. But MAC has some great pigments that work well with darker, golden-toned skin. Such as: "O" lipstick. This lipstick is magic, y'all. It's berry infused with gold, so it is just the right mix of red and brown. It makes your skin glow . I've heard it's a bit strong for some fair-haired peeps, but if you have a darker or golden skin tone, try this lipstick. You might love it like I do. One of my staples. MAC Paints. I only wear them on my eyelids, although technically you could wear them anywhere on your face/body. They look like oil paint tubes ...

One of my weaknesses is being able to forgive, move on and/or let go of the past; that is, not allow my present to be colored by the past. I read an analogy that clicked with me: falling leaves from a tree. If trees didn't let their leaves fall and die each winter, they'd have no room for new growth in the spring. It's a part of nature that plants and trees let go of the old to prepare for the new. I never would have compared myself to this process without reading that, but it brought me some measure of comfort. I'm a visual person, so I needed that symbolism to help me understand why it's necessary to forgive and let go. I vacillate between knowing there are people who should not be a part of my life and making that clear to them, and the sadness of wishing circumstances were different and they could be a healthy part of my life. In some cases (luckily very few and far between) that's just not possible. I both fear and miss them. It's been a hard thing...