Rebecca A. Foster

One thing I miss about living in Asia is their embrace of the ridiculous with a sincerity lacking in Western culture. I mean, we gotta be cool and ironic and sarcastic, maybe even *shhhh* hip, but in Asia, they have a whole different set of criteria. Kitty cat culture? Oh yeah. Rhinestones? Hell yes! Bright colors, flair, ridiculous behavior? Check, check, check. It is glorious and liberating and I miss being able to look ridiculous because A: everyone is going to stare at you anyway, might as well give them something to look at and B: it is awesome. Examples below.  I love these videos, unironically; they have a sense of the fun I found in unexpected places. p.s. Toward the end, the scene with the blue pillars? Subway station. NYC, I say this with the utmost love, get it together!

As I always say, two things about chemistry suck: you can't turn it on, and you can't turn it off. I'd like to think this is the reason I can be so attracted to a man it is not logical for me to be attracted to. One in particular, for reasons I don't want to get into here, we're never going to date or anything like that. It sucks, because how often do you really meet people you have great chemistry with? We are all wrong logically, but some part of my DNA is like, "Screw all those logical reasons, this is a good idea!" Despite the logic, I'm still super-attracted to him. I'm trying to tamp it down. It's hard. (It's not Jake Gyllenhaal, but he has blue eyes, so this pic is my stand-in.) I enjoy reading social science and real-science-light, and an interesting concept is that a lot of what determines attraction and chemistry is DNA compatibility; that is, your DNA desires to combine with someone else's DNA in a way that optimizes t...

You guys, this book is bad. Really bad. MST3K bad. (Oh, if only there were a movie of someone reading this book out loud and Joel, Crow and Tom Servo mocking it! That would be 100x more entertaining than this book!) But back to the book... Here are my issues with it so far, in order of offensiveness: 1. "I have made an effort and worn my one and only skirt, my sensible brown knee-length boots, and a blue sweater. For me, this is smart." And then later in the chapter she sees some art on the wall and says, "They're lovely. Raising the ordinary to extraordinary." No. Someone who knows she is dowdy and does nothing to change that does not say things like 'Raising the ordinary to extraordinary' to describe visual art. All the characterization so far is like this: it just doesn't make good sense. 2. On page 10, the words 'steel' and 'Steele' appear six times. Why on earth would you give your lead character the last name 'Steele...

Big Cottonwood Canyon, 3 miles from my front door. At a trail head. I don't remember if other places are like this, but I find it charming you can buy firewood at convenience stores and grocery stores in Salt Lake, just like you buy a bag of ice. Campfire evenings are very popular here.

Pretty sure this scene is hotter than an entire "romance" book. Call me unromantic, but a lot of what passes for romance in popular culture is bullsh*t. Just give me a sweet, clothed shower with Daniel Craig. It's enough.

Oh man, Black Celebration , I loved this album back in the day. I looked it up today on Spotify, it really holds up! Probably the most famous song on this album is Stripped , due to the movie Say Anything , but the whole album is just moody, dark and sexy. I always thought It Doesn't Matter Two  was a brutally honest, brilliantly background-composed song. I mean, just listen. Yes, absolutely. That moment when you realize what's really going on. That throbbing synth and rhythm. Just an astounding song. I also love Here Is The House* and But Not Tonight . I remember driving my convertible around at night in the 90's,  But Not Tonight blaring. Brings back so many memories, can't believe it's *gulp* 26 years old! (BRB, gone to cry a little.) If you haven't heard It Doesn't Matter Two , here you go. *"With or without words, I'll confide everything." Still gets me every time.

The only thing I want to do tonight is jump on the qinggui (metro), texting V. which train/car I'm in so he can jump on at his stop in the same car, meet up with the other Chongqingren (other Peace Corps friends) at the Cotton Club beer garden, then head over to Club 88, dance on the bar to this song and many others, stumble out at 2 AM into the humid Chonqqing river mist, eat shao kao (street barbecue) with T. on tiny stools, laughing really hard, then go back inside, kiss all the Chongqingren goodbye (puzzling the non-kissing Chinese), share a cab home with V., wake up with the birds, catch the 421 outside the back gate to go home, wait for T. to show up at my apartment, then go for noon coffee and snacks at XingBaKe (Starbucks). Is that so wrong? My lifestyle has really changed in America. I really do like this song.  I bet it's a hit at 88.

My gut reaction is to cut off and ignore people who make me sad, and this is how I sometimes handled things in the past. And now I know: this is no way to deal with sadness or treat another human being. I want to go back and say I'm sorry to the people I did this to. I was wrong. Thinking and writing about sadness (which sadness I realize is the result of my own expectations) I've realized: if I remove my ego from this situation, there is no sadness. Because it is my ego that is sad, not me. I keep going back to my dad's advice: Happiness is largely a matter of managing your own expectations. What he was also saying: remove your ego, and there is no reason to not be happy. I'm kind of a dirtbag sometimes, because I mistakenly think I understand other people's motivations. But actually I don't know whether I understand or not, I'm just guessing based on my own biases. Thinking I understand? Ego. (If you act like you like me or are attracted to me, I be...