Rebecca A. Foster

Nice try, Newport. I'm still not going to smoke your cigarettes.

Recently I was talking with a friend about making decisions based on reality vs. fantasy (fantasy meaning the way you hope or think things should be). I think it is better to make decisions based on reality. Sometimes that means opening yourself up and being vulnerable to another person, which might lead to hurt. Sometimes it means confronting a reality that isn't what you wanted, which can hurt too. But avoiding hurt by avoiding reality leads to way more problems than honesty and confronting reality, in my opinion. It's always better to know where things really stand. The key is to let people be who they are without judging. When there is no judgment, you can make decisions based on reality without resentment. This applies to everyone: family, friends, romantic interludes and co-workers. Treat people and make decisions based on reality and you will negate a lot of unnecessary stress. I credit learning to meditate and ponder quietly for helping me learn to see and ...

It's not New England, but still beautiful I think. I like the contrast with the evergreens.

My first trip to all of these places! My dates are set! Which I will not be announcing here so no one robs me! But now the fun begins: researching maps and train schedules and planning things so I can throw them out the window and do whatever once I actually get there. I'll be flying to London and out of Prague, with planes and trains between. I'll meet up with family in Berlin a week in. I was almost born in Germany and my parents' elderly German neighbor knitted this very cute little baby outfit for me because it was February and I needed a newborn-sized sweater and hat. Is it cute or what? My parents saved it for me; I need to shadow box it or something. Only packing my Osprey 46 travel backpack . It will be my longest trip yet with it, hope it works out. I'm really looking forward to this trip!

A friend's birthday party cupcakes this weekend. I ate the studded banana hammock. I like studs!

A sentence in the book Mindfulness In Plain English : "...from a pragmatic perspective, it is much better to cultivate the noble thought, 'May all beings be happy-minded' than the thought, 'I hate him.'" And have you ever read something so clear that you feel stupid you never chose those words before to express a thought? Because how clear is that sentence? It is better to wish people well than to hate them. Better not for them, better for YOU. I posted a few days ago about writing a humor-based type of guide to what can happen when you choose to be honest about your feelings. It was to make fun of myself, not someone else, but it was still choosing to focus on something that was hurtful to me, even if to make light of it. (A coping mechanism?) But now I think, 'How is focusing on something hurtful helping me help other people? Can I be a person who treats others with loving friendliness if I'm always thinking about how one person caused some hur...

So I've been trying to think of a way to write about that thing where you realize a guy friend you have feelings for more than friends and you decide to be upfront and tell them... and yeah. Life isn't a movie. But I haven't known how to write about this without sounding sad. Sad is lame, right? But I was writing a branching activity today in Captivate and I thought, why can't blog entries be interactive? How come I don't try that out? I'm going to try that out. The world's very first "That Dude Doesn't Feel The Same: The Choose Your Own Adventure" adventure. Based on a true story(ies)!

I haven't spoken much about the health issues I've had from getting dysentery and giardia while in China. The Peace Corps doctor told me giardia can be recurring and there is nothing you can do about it, and I heard this from other sources too, so I've lived with the flare-ups, discomfort and bloating since then. (I hide my stomach as much as possible and joked I brought home parasites as a special souvenir.) My awesome nurse practitioner told me that didn't sound right based on her work with refugees when she was in Brooklyn and sent me to a referral-only, awesome Infectious Diseases specialist. There aren't a lot of these specialists in my area due to the low demand so I had to wait over 2 months to see her but she gave me the great news that yes, it can be treated and after one or more rounds of treatment I can expect to be protozoan free! (She told me they are referred to as protozoans, not parasites. Protozoans sounds so much nicer, I think.) She also told ...

First: New York: A Documentary Film , by Ric Burns (brother of Ken Burns), an interesting, engaging and entertaining 8-part documentary series on the history of the city of New York. Originally aired on PBS but I'm watching it on Amazon Prime on my iPad. It's long, over 14 hours, but I've learned a lot, and learned a lot more respect for, how NYC became what it is and why it is so wonderful. The documentary How the Universe Works from Discovery Channel: awesome. Makes me feel like life is a miracle and a blessing and I'm lucky to be a part of the human race. And then I go jeans shopping and I get all bummed out because of the size of jeans that fit me really well and look good. Really, Rebecca? This is what you feel bad about? Get a grip. But...gosh, don't we want to feel attractive? And I flashback to this time I was with this guy and I had made the effort to look attractive and he said, "You look really comfortable" and part of me thinks, ...

I don't know if I'm too old to wear flowers in my hair, but I did. Seemed cheery.

This is a great response. I think I'm going to start using that line, just to see what reaction I get. The whole blog is gold.

...dwell on good things, not crappy things. I feel really crappy these days! But it helps to consciously observe my life isn't 100% crappy. I had a conversation with a friend about things we like, even if maybe we shouldn't, such as: My pale pink (fake) jade (glass) bracelet from China squeezes the hell out of my hand, to the extent I can't get it off without lube. Chinese girls be having tiny hands, yo! I whacked it against something today and it cracked and chipped but didn't break, and I was worried the jagged chip would cut me if I tried to squeeze it off. So this was my solution: Me: "Ok, weird question, but do you have pliers or something I can use to pry this bracelet apart?" [explanation about glass, smallness, lube, cutting.] Him: "Why are you wearing a bracelet that's too small for you?" Ummm because it's pink and cute and matches my outfit perfectly, of course. Duh. I explain this. He thinks this is a dumb reason. (He mi...

There needs to be new words for our new social construct needs, such as the people you would block from reading what you write. If 'schadenfreude' gets to be a word, surely we could come up with something? (I recently learned 'sauter' is free.) Also, how about the technology to go along with it? Whatever that word is, I need to use it so many times. I'm tongue-tied. For now.

What I learned about physics: sometimes, when you rearrange a whole lot of books and don't pay attention to putting the heavier ones on the top, this happens in your bedroom**: BEFORE AFTER AFTER AFTER My dad's personalized Army beer stein from when he was stationed in Germany, complete with his Battalion and Unit motto and insignia, that I left sitting on top of the bookcase, and which hit the wall when it fell. My dad left it to me when he died and throwing it out is not an option, so I called a pottery shop and got a recommendation for a glue called Bond 527 that I HIGHLY recommend if you are gluing glass or ceramic; it's thin and sets very fast. A friend is going to solder*** the little man back onto the lid for me. I've been piecing it back together and I'm finally down to the bottom part, which used to have the silhouette of a naked lady blown into the glass and when you held the stein up to the light, you could see the naked lady. I g...

I don't think we're meant to live without heartache. What kind of literature, art, poetry and music would we have if we never felt bad? I missed Cool Girl 101 class, where you learn to get involved with people you don't get attached to, not care what their response is when you say how you really feel, forget in an instant everything about someone you cared about, and always say and do the 'cool' and 'right' thing. What was I doing instead? Probably a Lit class. I'm not a cool girl at all. (Side-story) Saving the hardest moving task for last: getting rid of a large percentage of my library. Turns out I'm not only really attached to my books, I'm attached to the identity they formed for me. I'm not giving away paper, I'm giving away my sense of self . I've felt pangs of anxiety just sorting the books for donation, nevermind a single sheet of paper hasn't left my house. But the anxiety means I MUST do it. It's not healthy to...