Hating Is Easier, But Not Better (Plus Washington Heights)

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A sentence in the book Mindfulness In Plain English:

"...from a pragmatic perspective, it is much better to cultivate the noble thought, 'May all beings be happy-minded' than the thought, 'I hate him.'"

And have you ever read something so clear that you feel stupid you never chose those words before to express a thought? Because how clear is that sentence? It is better to wish people well than to hate them. Better not for them, better for YOU.

I posted a few days ago about writing a humor-based type of guide to what can happen when you choose to be honest about your feelings. It was to make fun of myself, not someone else, but it was still choosing to focus on something that was hurtful to me, even if to make light of it. (A coping mechanism?) But now I think, 'How is focusing on something hurtful helping me help other people? Can I be a person who treats others with loving friendliness if I'm always thinking about how one person caused some hurt for me?

I can't. So I'm not writing that humorous thing. It serves no good purpose. I've learned it's okay to:

1. Not pretend something didn't hurt you. No need to sweep it under the rug.
2. Acknowledge the hurt and its place in your life so you can deal with it and move on.
3. Forget about it after you've dealt with it and not allow it to have any further effect.
4. Cultivate loving friendliness manifest in good will to everyone.

I can't choose others' actions, but I definitely choose hurt and resentment, which is exactly how I've felt. It's not doing me, or anyone else, any good. Time to choose to let it go. 

It's better to take chances and deal with hard feelings that live in a bubble of no feeling at all. I still believe that. I'm not sorry for the things I do. I'm just sorry I have to keep learning the lesson to hold my head up and move on in happiness so many times.

In awesome news, I learned a friend from University I lost touch with moved to Washington Heights last year! How crazy is that? I wish I had known so I could have seen him when I was there in March, but at least I know now! I love that someone I already know lives there.

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