So, it turns out I'm kind of an awesome wildlife photographer. Who knew? Thanks, squirrel, for being a poser and making it so easy. And for being so darn cute.
(Want to see more recent pics? Click on 'My Photos' to the right.)
It's a tough life lesson that when you try to be more loving, forgiving and in greater harmony with those around you, you will discover that someone you have feelings for, like and care about turns out to be a person capable of doing awful, despicable, unjust things. Your trust is betrayed. If you think you are justified responding with anger, hate, disgust, public shaming and bringing justice for their actions, well... you are. Totally justified. And people encourage you to do all of these things. But you know: this is not who you are trying to be. You could never again be a person who didn't do those things. When someone breaks your heart and trust, don't break your own soul. They aren't worth your soul. Justice comes of its own accord, in its own time. It's not up to me anymore. When you reach for the capacity to be more loving, turns out you might have to learn that by learning to forgive in your heart (but not your actions) those whose poor choices adversel...
My grandma is not doing well. So, I am no longer going to Bali and Beijing over my break; instead, I'll be flying back to the U.S. to spend time with her and other family. I was looking forward to these trips, but Bali and Beijing will be there for a long while. Grandma comes first. I am sure those of you reading can understand and would do the same thing. Now, a few things to share about daily life in China: 1. Street cleaning trucks in my city play "Happy Birthday" in a high-pitched tone, over and over and over. There is also a techno version of Happy Birthday they play in clubs. How "Happy Birthday" became both of these things, I have no idea, but I never want to hear "Happy Birthday" again. 2. Overheard yesterday as I was walking home: a clothing store blasting "Jingle Bells" set to a disco-esque beat, including the phrases "Jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleee." Sleigh IS spelled like Leigh, I...
Yesterday while texting with a buddy from China I made a tiny obscure joke I wasn't sure he'd remember and pick up on, but he got the joke and I was *tickled pink* he still remembered, appreciated and understood with no explanation needed. Our shorthand is so very short. I adore this guy in a way different from guys I've met in America and I think it has everything to do with the crap and inconvenience and hardships we battled and two years later I wonder: how long will it be until I don't feel this attachment? I feel similar special attachments to other friends I knew there and sometimes it's like I'm trapped in this tension that will never be assuaged because we'll never live that life again. And if I always feel it, is that okay? To just live with that? I get attached to people, but as a human being I don't think that's anything to apologize for. Aren't we supposed to? (However, when someone dogs me or is constantly "too busy"...
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