Choosing A New Calendar
I don't wear a watch. I just figure out in my head what time it is. I can even take a nap and tell myself to wake up at a certain time, and I do. But knowing what day I'm on? Sometimes takes a few tries. Days seem to sneak up on me and then fly right by. So an easily accessible calendar, especially at work, is a must-have*. As always, I had several options for the new year:
Girls In Bikinis
Should I get a calendar that forces me to stare at well-lit, well-toned and well-enhanced women all year as a way to motivate myself to eat fewer nachos and make my work-outs at the gym last just a bit longer? Maybe it could work. But really, using a bikini calendar as a realistic indicator of progress only works if I also have an air-brushing and lighting guy following me around all day. So, maybe not.
(Side note: you know how in movies when the hero is about to seduce the heroine, the lighting turns all soft and flattering? Yeah, that should happen in real life too.)
Kittens and Puppies
Um, no. I love animals, but this is one step away from glass figurines and being on your pot-holders.
The Girls Next Door
Funny thing, when my friend Chad was in the hospital I brought this DVD when I visited him. I thought he would love it and I would get solid friend points for bringing him Playboy Bunny adventures to watch while bed-ridden. But no--he thought it was annoying they talked. Hello, the talking is the best part! They say such ridiculous things! Then he told me I should flash him to make up for it. (The real way to get points with male friends, I guess.) I briefly considered this calendar because I love this show, but I felt weird even picking it up. If it were a talking calendar, maybe. Another funny thing: when I try on a bikini top and it looks like that, I assume that means it doesn't fit. Silly me.
The British Isles
Have you ever noticed how many calendars there are of Ireland and Scotland? A lot. No, I get it. It's green and pretty. Castles and stuff. But I secretly think it's the possibility of a hot guy/girl with a pint of Guinness and a sexy accent lurking about in those views, just waiting to seduce you, that really grabs people. I mean, for the love of Colin Farrell, who can blame us? Oh, and Canadian Rockies calendars. We seem to really like those too. (Although...Mounties, anyone?)
In the end, I picked up two calendars, one completely last-minute/gratuitous (I'll let you guess which one it is):
Passport To The World
For my desk at work. Mini-sized, and more importantly, HR-approved. And featuring cities other than North American and British Islander, which means...not only stunning world photography, but even more foreign-seduction-fantasy options. Yes!
Texas
Ummm... remember when I mentioned I love tools? Yeah. And it's done in sepia tones, so it's artistic, right? But mostly because: homegrown guys with sexy accents who know what to do with a tool is still the best fantasy there is.
(Not hanging this one up, but if I remember to call you on your actual birthday next year, this is why.)
*And for those that have never worked in an office, going out to buy office supplies is basically a chance to break free for an afternoon. We're sad, I know.
Girls In Bikinis
Should I get a calendar that forces me to stare at well-lit, well-toned and well-enhanced women all year as a way to motivate myself to eat fewer nachos and make my work-outs at the gym last just a bit longer? Maybe it could work. But really, using a bikini calendar as a realistic indicator of progress only works if I also have an air-brushing and lighting guy following me around all day. So, maybe not.(Side note: you know how in movies when the hero is about to seduce the heroine, the lighting turns all soft and flattering? Yeah, that should happen in real life too.)
Kittens and Puppies
Um, no. I love animals, but this is one step away from glass figurines and being on your pot-holders.
The Girls Next Door
Funny thing, when my friend Chad was in the hospital I brought this DVD when I visited him. I thought he would love it and I would get solid friend points for bringing him Playboy Bunny adventures to watch while bed-ridden. But no--he thought it was annoying they talked. Hello, the talking is the best part! They say such ridiculous things! Then he told me I should flash him to make up for it. (The real way to get points with male friends, I guess.) I briefly considered this calendar because I love this show, but I felt weird even picking it up. If it were a talking calendar, maybe. Another funny thing: when I try on a bikini top and it looks like that, I assume that means it doesn't fit. Silly me.The British Isles
Have you ever noticed how many calendars there are of Ireland and Scotland? A lot. No, I get it. It's green and pretty. Castles and stuff. But I secretly think it's the possibility of a hot guy/girl with a pint of Guinness and a sexy accent lurking about in those views, just waiting to seduce you, that really grabs people. I mean, for the love of Colin Farrell, who can blame us? Oh, and Canadian Rockies calendars. We seem to really like those too. (Although...Mounties, anyone?)In the end, I picked up two calendars, one completely last-minute/gratuitous (I'll let you guess which one it is):
Passport To The World
For my desk at work. Mini-sized, and more importantly, HR-approved. And featuring cities other than North American and British Islander, which means...not only stunning world photography, but even more foreign-seduction-fantasy options. Yes!Texas
Ummm... remember when I mentioned I love tools? Yeah. And it's done in sepia tones, so it's artistic, right? But mostly because: homegrown guys with sexy accents who know what to do with a tool is still the best fantasy there is.(Not hanging this one up, but if I remember to call you on your actual birthday next year, this is why.)
*And for those that have never worked in an office, going out to buy office supplies is basically a chance to break free for an afternoon. We're sad, I know.
Comments