Friendly Danger

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Last week, one of the new Peace Corps volunteers in China taught a self-defense class. (He has a black belt in TaikwanDo.) It was a great class, but it got me thinking: we try really hard to prepare girls to defend themselves against a stranger who tries to pressure them or attack them. I think most girls would use these moves on someone they don't know without a second thought. We've been well-trained to deal with strangers.

But what about pressure that comes from that guy you trusted, that you considered a friend, the one you didn't suspect had it in him to ignore you when you said, "No."? What do we teach girls about that guy? I think there's a big hole in how we prepare girls for this. As I've mentioned before, I feel strongly about teaching girls they can say no to whatever makes them uncomfortable, until they are ready to say yes. But if the guy doesn't listen to them, it seems a lot don't know what their choices are. I think many girls give in, them blame themselves for letting it happen. And this is not a crime, but it so, so, wrong. I really, really, want to teach girls there are other options.

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