Rebecca A. Foster

A co-worker was teasing me last week about being direct. Or, in his words, "You just say exactly what you mean, don't you, Miss Foster?" I get a little perplexed by these comments, because what are other people saying if they aren't saying what they mean? He's not the first one to tell me I'm direct, but the experience reminded me of a fellow volunteer I met in China, whom I was saying goodnight to as we were standing by a bar and I said something like, "Hey, it was nice to meet you, I'm taking off now," and he said, "Kiss me goodbye on the mouth." For real? Caught me off guard, because I'm not used to people being so direct with ME, but at the same time? This is a dude whose communication style I can get behind. (Also he is from the NYC area. I can't say no to that accent telling me to do something. My weakness.) The last night I saw this dude in China, a few nights before I left for good, we were at a different bar in a dif...

(The video isn't working on mobile devices. Sorry, I don't know why.) All Peace Corps Volunteers in China spend two weeks in the summer between first and second year training native Chinese English teachers. Usually we go out to the countryside, where many English teachers in China have never spoken to a native English speaker. We do a combination of teaching them current ESL methodologies and giving them exposure to native English. Here is some footage I found of a Chinese classroom during this training. Keep in mind these are professional adults, not kids. It was July, so hot and humid! Those desks are not comfortable, either. The acceptable standards for work conditions are so much lower in China. I can't imagine asking American teachers to sit in classrooms like this for weeks on end. You can hear me giggling a bit on camera. These are the teachers who gave me a necklace .

I was shocked yesterday to read about a numbers-related disorder called dyscalculia , similar to dyslexia but number-based. It described numbers-related troubles I've had for as long as I can remember. So I'm not just dumb/ too flighty to calculate things correctly? There might actually a problem with the way my brain deals with numbers and number concepts? How did I not know this existed? I've developed ways to hide or get around when I can't process numbers the way I see others do. For example: I give my wrong # address or phone number, only to be asked, "Oh, did you just move?" when I have to correct it. No. I just get numbers wrong. I can't write down a string of numbers correctly being spoken to me. (Thank goodness for texting and email! Or I ask the person to write the numbers down for me.) I don't count change or numbers told to me, because I can't do it quickly enough. I just nod like I understand. I don't.  Friends calculate tip...

I have a wallflower scent thingy in my office and change the scent every month or so. Some past comments: "It smells like a head shop in here." And...that's the last time I use a scent with cloves in at work. "It smells like Christmas in here." Peppermint has it's own holiday now. "Now I want a daiquiri." Coconut Water makes people thirsty. The most recent scent is 'Eucalyptus and Spearmint', which has gone over very well; when people walk in, I get a lot of compliments on how my office smells clean and fresh. But then one of the IT guys walked in: "It smells like a men's locker room after a bunch of guys have taken a shower and all the soap and cologne is mixed together." Huh? Is that really a thing that happens in men's locker rooms? Shoot, I've been missing out!! And, they're all just still wearing little white towels, right? I thought so. Best smell ever. Also, most creative IT guy ever, right?

That NYT article in my last post reminded me of this scene from a recent Community episode: That 80's line cracks me up! I do wish I could take the talking feature off my phone, I pay way too much for my 27 minutes a month of talk time I actually use. Texting and video chat FTW. Also! This Community episode revolves around the idea we want what we can't have, and when we get it, we lose interest. There was a great line from Mad Men last season, about Don Draper: "You only like the beginnings of things." That's, like, the Pulitzer of one-liners about human motivation.  I've always called it "people who only want to want." I'm definitely not down with the only-wanters. I've been feeling very stressed the last few weeks, and it's starting to catch up with me courtesy of sleepless nights and tummy aches. So, tonight I'm going to relieve some stress by doing my latin dancing workout. This song always gets my booty movin' ...

A great, thought-provoking article from the NY Times over the weekend about how texting and mobile devices are changing the way in which we communicate and conduct relationships. It was interesting, but I don't agree with all of her points, because I think communication can and should exist on a continuum. Some friends I have deep, long conversations with, while others we spend more time doing than talking, or have brief text conversations, and that's enough. These types of interactions each fulfill a specific need I have for communication and interaction. I don't text or answer the phone when I'm with someone else, though. To me, that's just rude. I struggle with how to communicate, but it's more reaching that angle of repose for which kind of communicative interaction is appropriate for the people I know, or don't know. Once I know where to place them, there's no issue.

Last summer I went with my brother, sister and step-mom to a festival at one of the hideouts Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid used in Utah at Brown's ParkJarvie Ranch. It's near the Utah/Wyoming/Colorado border, convenient for border jumping when trying to evade local authorities. I don't have enough photos to make a video, so here are some of my shots. It was a cool place to explore. There is a historical society that puts on the festival and sells little things to make money to fund it. The site is a Utah Historical Site. You have to take many long and winding roads to get there, but for history buffs, it's worth a visit. You can read more about it here . A random lady on the steps of the main building at the site: Info sheet about the criminals common to the area back in the day:  Close-up of Cassidy and Sundance entries:  A little home on the property. My sister is 4'11" so we joked we finally found her a place to live that is h...

Old video I made of firehouses in NYC.

Old video I made about San Antonio.

Old videos I posted on YouTube. Montreal Ottawa:

So sometimes I try new things and suck at them. Other times, I am awesome. Like skeet shooting. Or baking pies. Or puking into little airline vomit bags. Nailed these on the first try. This post is not about those things. Recently I was trying something really unfamiliar to me and being (too?) sincere/earnest about it and the person I was with laughed at me a couple of times. I know he wasn't trying to make me feel bad, but I'll be honest! It made me feel bad! (Bad as in a little humiliated.) Edit: The more I think about it, the more I think it's not cool he was laughing at me. Because, we're in America, not China. So forget what I said.  Speaking of humiliating yourself, I think it's part of the reason I love the show Community . The character of Britta often feels humiliated but keeps trying. Yeah, what else can you do? Also, BCI, that needs to be a thing that is said more often.

I finally got around to reading this month's Esquire and the cover article with Sofia Vergara about what it's like to be involved with a Latina and it cracked me up! (Involved to me means friends or otherwise.) I've read some criticism that it panders to stereotypes but also? Oh my gosh. Describes many Spanish women* I know. (Living in San Antonio, I knew a lot. Plus I was raised by one.) Kinda boils down to: Latina women are often very direct and don't have many unexpressed emotions or opinions. What people might not realize is that being direct and opinionated doesn't mean inflexible or permanent. Growing up, the words "I don't know" were not an acceptable answer. "If you don't know, who does? Who is in charge of you? If you don't know, you're in big trouble because you don't know who you are." This was like a "What do you want to drink for dinner?" conversation. (I coach people who come to my mom's house...

I like people who like things. Men who smoke cigars seem to really like them! It's fun watching someone do something they enjoy. And it just looks mad sexy. I even like the magazine Cigar Aficionado , and I don't smoke cigars. Recently I was with a guy who was smoking a cigar. I loved watching him use the cutter to prepare it, and the awesome butane lighter he has that makes it possible to light even in windy conditions. (It takes a lot longer to light a cigar than I imagined.) I've not really been around a cigar smoker, just cigarette smokers. Cigars are a whole different ballgame-- savored and enjoyed, not a quick fix like a cigarette. (From observation, I've never smoked one.) We were in a public place, but I have to admit my mind kept imagining kissing him deeply between those puffs. And I had to keep focusing my eyes on his face, not his hand holding the cigar. He has exceptional hands. Especially a hand holding a cigar. Instead, I just stood and smiled and t...

I like this video better than pretty much any SNL skit since 1994. (He says on a longer version that it was 4:30 AM in the writer's room and she was the musical guest that week.) Dude is committed to dance-syncing. This totally would have gotten him to regionals. Of course, it reminds me of this night: (As I recall, there was broken glass all over the floor from people knocking over beer bottles. Want to be really good at avoiding broken glass in a small, dark, strobe-lit room? Peace Corps teaches you skills you never imagined.) I've already requested that part of our Peace Corps reunion this summer takes place at a karaoke lounge, because it must.

On J.'s bed. (There was some kind of mirrored ceiling optical illusion, I wasn't that thin standing upright.) J. and I were set up by my friend Veronica, who used to date him years ago and they were still good friends. He had never been married, didn't want kids and was a pinto like me, so she thought we were perfect for each other. Alas! J. and I were better suited as friends, which we became. I was only disappointed by this because I loved his house and totally would have lived there; very 60's Rat Pack, martini bar, tiki lounge style. The bathrooms were super-hero themed. His bedroom had mirrors on the ceiling, as did his shower. He was a baller, just not with me! I love interesting people who do things like decorate their house like they're Frank Sinatra. Also, I miss San Antonio. 

My co-worker Joann gave me these leather pants in 2005, I think. she used to wear them clubbing, shirtless, with Felix the Cat pasties over her nipples. I never did that.  My favorite memory of wearing the leather pants was at a club with a scary bouncer, watching J. play bass with his band, when I suddenly remembered I left a candle burning in my living room. Danger! I got to the door and asked the bouncer if I could get back in later, because I left a candle burning. The scary bouncer: "Yes! Go, girl, go, you gotta put that sh*t out! I'll be here, no worries!" Then he was my favorite bouncer. I think he remembered me by the leather pants. Another favorite leather pants memory, also with J. at a club, where we ran into the sister of his recent ex-girlfriend. I may have also been wearing a top that showed some cleavage? The sister was nice to me in that "Who the hell are you, sl*t?" way that girls can do. Ha. I am hardly ever the evil other woman in leath...

UNIQLO is a Japanese clothing brand that sells the kinds of clothes the GAP used to sell 20 years ago, before the GAP went to POT. I first went to UNIQLO in Shanghai, where Jake and I spent happy times perusing the soft, long hoodies and shirts. Clothes are all about texture for me. Love their hoodies so much! Not only are the colors great, but they're very soft and cut a little longer, nice for lengthening the body of short-torsoed folks like me. So of course I hit the big, new UNIQLO flagship on 5th Ave when I was in NYC-- multiple stories of soft, plain, comfy, inexpensive clothing goodness. I picked up a few hoodies (including an awesome pale peach bamboo fabric hoodie, it's like wearing a cloud!), shirts and other layering/summer basics. Except: no shipping service offered by the store. Drat. Well, I could always buy online when I got home, so I limited my purchases and squeezed them into my travel backpack. Except: it turns out, not available to buy online. ...

Theorems: (Some Men) x Acceptance / Indifference > Fear, Anxiety, Sadness, Disappointment = Peace Anxiety / Logic x Lack of Self-Consciousness = Asking For What You Want Without Shame Esteem x Acceptance - Judgment = Walking Away Without Regret When You Are No Longer Wanted √Rebecca = (Optimism x Hopefulness / Experience) (I was an English major, so I don't really care if these have flaws.) This one is absolutely true for me: Rebecca x 2 Countries = Rebecca ². A lot can be gained in personal growth from surviving and thriving in a new paradigm.  ---------------------------- In other news, I had a dream I moved in with Seth Meyers and liked it? Which is weird because I don't think about him in real life? But maybe now I have a little crush on him? I guess he could do worse than me, haha.

A fun and interesting thing I got to do in NYC was visit a firehouse in Washington Heights, near the bridge. I was able to learn more about the tools the FDNY uses specific to their area, such as air bags for pushing subway cars away from trapped people. I also got to see how the aerial ladder works and learn more about their response to different kinds of emergencies. The truck is amazing (and the people who use it). One thing that struck me is that the tools they use were thought up by someone to get a job done, and then picked up by others and became the standard. That's really cool. I tried on a helmet and coat and it was so heavy--I can't imagine wearing all of that gear in the summer. (I'm holding a halligan, one of my favorite tools I never use.) The helmet was a lot heavier than I expected. Very solid. It made me appreciate how much we have in America. We are so lucky and privileged to have prepared, professional response teams such as the FDNY, the best o...

I'm working on a video, but here are some of my favorite camera photos from my recent trip to NYC.

I stopped drinking Diet Coke on February 22, coinciding with Lent. (Of course, usually at the end of Lent you go back on whatever you gave up, but I'm not planning on doing that, so 'coinciding with' instead of 'for.') I know, right? I mainlined that stuff for decades, but I haven't cheated even once, which surprises me.  Now I mostly drink water and hot tea, easy to do at home or the office, but on my recent week long trip to NYC, I discovered the pleasure of Snapple Diet Peach Tea; not exactly healthy, but good flavor and not carbonated, which hits all my spots. I could pick it up everywhere and I wondered why I didn't drink it back in Utah? Then I got back to Utah and realized why: Snapple is just not available here outside of grocery stores, and even then, it was this pitiful offering: Snapple, yo, we need you out here! BTW, I'm working in my new NYC video, so much fun! Why don't I live there???