Being Involved With A Latina
Kinda boils down to: Latina women are often very direct and don't have many unexpressed emotions or opinions. What people might not realize is that being direct and opinionated doesn't mean inflexible or permanent. Growing up, the words "I don't know" were not an acceptable answer. "If you don't know, who does? Who is in charge of you? If you don't know, you're in big trouble because you don't know who you are." This was like a "What do you want to drink for dinner?" conversation. (I coach people who come to my mom's house: say what you want and be confident or you will not survive.) If you ask a Latina what she wants, she will tell you. (Even if you don't ask, haha.) Doesn't mean she's not open to other ideas. She will be honest emotionally about how she feels about you, because holding things in is not in the culture. She's just keeping you in the loop!
My mom also expressed strong opinions about women, men and sex. I remember being at the mall together when I was 13 or so and saying as we passed by a shop, "I like that nightgown," and I immediately got a lecture about how women should never wear nightgowns to bed because they are frumpy and unappealing; you wear lingerie or nothing or your man will think you're his mom. So yeah, I think Latina women believe it's okay to be sexy and make the effort to look good and that is just ingrained from a young age. But also! There is nothing shameful about being sexy. I remember a close friend complaining that her husband wanted her to wear something she felt was too sexy, like a teddy or something, and she asked him, "Do you want me to look like a prostitute?" and I was shocked! What?? That attitude is so foreign to me. Also, you cannot go anywhere without lipstick or looking your best. No exceptions. Appearance is very important. If you don't make the effort to also look nice, a Latina woman will notice. And then you're out.
Latina women are also often very spontaneous, but they are quick to disregard people who can't keep up, physically or emotionally. (I can't tell you how many family vacations I took as a kid that I found out about when I was woken up and told to pack a bag, we're leaving in an hour.) The women I know are compassionate and help people as much as possible, but also judgmental about people who hesitate or seem like they're not enjoying themselves. Or fail to appreciate the effort she makes to look nice. They want to be around people who are as committed to fun and good times as they are.
As my mother often said, "It is worse to be boring than bad." Many Latinas I know live by this.
*These are generalizations; there are always exceptions.
Comments