On Grief and Grieving
This book is by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who also wrote On Death and Dying. On Grief and Grieving discusses the five stages of grief by telling the stories of those who have experienced them. Some of the stories will feel familiar. Some of them will be eye-opening. Some of them will make you cry, because you will see yourself in the stories. I have been re-reading this book due to emotional and physical stress I feel about upcoming important-to-us holidays and celebrations that, for the first time, my dad will not be a part of. It makes me cry, hard, but has been a great source of comfort. It tells me my feelings are normal.
A few weeks ago, I had a dream my father was dead. I didn't see him dead, but in the dream I knew he was dead. This was the first time I had dreamt this way. Usually I dream he is alive or that it was a mistake we thought he died, he has actually been alive this whole time. It has been almost a year since my father died. He is the person I was closest to on this earth. Our subconscious accepts first sometimes. I hope my conscious mind and heart catch up soon.
I have had friends tell me about their experiences losing a close loved one. I treasure their stories. I have other friends I think don't want to hear mine. You might only want to read this entry if you have lost someone close to you. Otherwise, you might think less of me for my grief. I have to be okay with that. Maybe my experience can help others. This book is a good starting place to learn about the role of grief in our lives. The stories might make you feel you are not alone. I hope so.
A few weeks ago, I had a dream my father was dead. I didn't see him dead, but in the dream I knew he was dead. This was the first time I had dreamt this way. Usually I dream he is alive or that it was a mistake we thought he died, he has actually been alive this whole time. It has been almost a year since my father died. He is the person I was closest to on this earth. Our subconscious accepts first sometimes. I hope my conscious mind and heart catch up soon.
I have had friends tell me about their experiences losing a close loved one. I treasure their stories. I have other friends I think don't want to hear mine. You might only want to read this entry if you have lost someone close to you. Otherwise, you might think less of me for my grief. I have to be okay with that. Maybe my experience can help others. This book is a good starting place to learn about the role of grief in our lives. The stories might make you feel you are not alone. I hope so.
Comments
I can't say anything more than what Sarah just said. You and I have had our discussions on this topic, and you know you that I include you in my prayers.
The pain of losing a parent never goes away, but it does temper itself. It wouldn't be normal if you weren't grieving.
Don't beat yourself up and just let the process happen.
You know where I am if you need to talk.
Jenn
Reading this book is tough but therapeutic. I cried myself to sleep Sat. night, and last night, and off and on yesterday, and this morning when I woke up. I look like one of those fish with the bulging eyes. I gotta drink more water or I will run out of tears. But better out than in eh? :) Thank you for being such a good friend to me, always! Love ya. And yes, she is such a humanitarian. I think she wanted us to be gentle with ourselves. It's a subtle message all over in her book.
Jenn, it means so much to hear the word 'temper' like that. I can hold out for 'temper.' I wouldn't believe it if someone said I would completely get over it, but I believe you when you tell me it'll temper itself. Thank you. And for your advice and prayers.
Who wants to be a walking cadaver?
(hugs)
Anyway, I wish I could say the pain would one day go away completely, but it never will. This month marks the 20th year since my dad's passing, and I still think about him and get sad. I hope your blog helps you release some of that sadness. I'll be sure to keep you in my thoughts and prayers; I can tell there are many others that will do the same. :)
Rebecca E.
Rebecca 1: Thanks for sharing that about your dad. I appreciate the honesty. It truly does make it easier to visualize myself down the road being okay again.
You are wonderful! I know for sure your prayers count for more than mine. :) So thank you. All this crying is weird for me. Definitely an experience I didn't expect.
I hope I get to see you soon.