My Seinfeld-ian Life: The Haircut
I use a series of pictures like the one pictured above in a lesson about interculturalism. (The red is Chinese culture.) I’ve had to learn to react to the Chinese custom of inspecting strange things (read: me) closely.
One example: the day I got my haircut, I went to that little print shop on campus to print a picture of the haircut I wanted. On my way out a 40-ish woman who was waiting for me at the exit accosted me, asking where I’m from, what I’m doing here, etc. I’ve gotten used to people getting in my face for no reason other than curiousity (remember the cell phone salesgirl asking me when I was going to have kids?) but when I told her I was on my way to get my haircut and showed her the picture, she immediately got very upset and told me that it was too hot to get that haircut, that I should leave my hair long so I could pull it back in a ponytail, and that under no circumstances should I cut my hair. I just said very assertively, “I’m cutting my hair! I’m cutting my hair! I have to go now! Bye! Bye! Bye!” and kept yelling goodbye while she kept yelling about my hair as I walked away. No really, these things happen here. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in an episode of Seinfeld, all the time.
I know in her mind, she is being very caring; in my mind, she is the strange Chinese lady who won’t stop yelling at me about my hair. But it was okay for me to push back on her; she wasn’t offended, it’s just the way things are here. Boundaries don’t exist unless you create them yourself. So I've learned to recognize and assert my boundaries, to walk away when needed, to not tolerate out of politeness behavior that makes me uncomfortable. If there were nothing else I learned in China, this one lesson made it worthwhile. I’ve even learned to make the Chinese noises of displeasure that are so common here. I love them! But I won’t make the noises when I’m back in America. Unless I’m in Chinatown, and then, it’s on.
Comments
Would love to see your hair cut. so glad you did not listen to the busy body lady!!!
I have had similar (somewhat) situation here. I have a stylist in the same building as work and he is really good but he only cuts my hair the very conservative, businessman style. I asked him to give me a spiky summer look and he point blank refused. What could I do? I was already in his chair with the sheet around my neck.
He apologized and said he had asthma and trouble breathing, and I said he could do it from two feet away instead of two inches away.
I. Hate. People.
LOL!
So, do we get to see this lovely haircut?
I am glad that you pushed back. I am glad that you stood your ground. People cant make choices for us...we must make them for ourselves...so glad you knew that for yourself!
Yrautca, that is too funny! I bet that haircut would have looked good.
Marianne, I think you are totally right. I guess I'll be a mean girl when I'm back in America.
Techno, lol, way to stand up for your boundaries! I bow down.
It's Just Me, thanks for this. It has taken me a long time to learn. Perhaps I would not have learned it so well anywhere else? It's been enlightening.
Scarlet, I feel like there are some good stories behind that statement. :)