Of Sexual Attraction and Self-Esteem

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This is awkward for me to write because I don't have much experience with men. This scene was too familiar for comfort, though. Have you ever liked/been attracted to someone who doesn't like themselves a lot so they can't understand why *you'd* like them and they self-sabotage because they just don't think they deserve it? I have, and it sucks. It hurts to see someone walk away because they don't believe they are worth having. Who actually says, "People don't like me once they get to know me" and you realize later they really believe that. Heart-breaking, in fact. I cried a lot over this dude. But there isn't any way to make someone believe how wonderful they are if they can't believe it for themselves. And because my life isn't a tv show or movie, things don't work out and you lose them in your life. (The other difference is that I never had sex with him.)

I've also experienced men who treat you like a victor's match, who are more interested in winning as an ego boost than enjoying you as a person, and that sucks too. The good news is they are pretty easy to recognize once they start pulling this crap. The bad news is you don't realize what's happening until you've given them your attention and time. I wish they wore bells!  Being caught in the cross-hairs of someone else's self-esteem issues isn't fun. (Women do this too, absolutely, but as I am not involved with women on a romantic level, I can's speak for what men think of that.)

Comments

Matt said…
From the book I recommended to you (and I hadn't read this part yet). Third word from the end. Makes me wonder if that's the most important thing people want to feel; while simultaneously worrying they don't.

"Good." He took a step forward. "Can I kiss you?"

Before I could even answer, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled me into him, and kissed me. It was a different kind of beginning -- he didn't want anything from me, he wasn't trying to feel me up or grope me -- he just held me, like I mattered to him.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Rebecca Foster said…
It is nice to feel like you matter to someone, I agree.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
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