Rebecca A. Foster

When I have to sum up this past year? FUN! (This picture is from when I lived in San Antonio, before my dad got sick. I was really happy and carefree. I think it shows on my face. I'd take a new picture but I lost my camera in the move. So, this old one will have to do.) Probably some of the most fun times of my life. Okay, coming home from China and transitioning back to America was tough, but it was worth it for all the fun times that caused the big letdown. I mean, you can't go that low unless you've been that high, right? I was that high. (Not literally.) Probably the two biggest lessons I learned this year are: 1. Ain't nothing wrong with a good time. It's okay to just be happy. I'm a lucky, lucky girl. 2. Forgiveness is not about the other person at all, it's about you. I used to be reluctant to let go of those bad feelings that happen when someone hurts you a lot because it was like letting them win. Well, *I'm* the one carrying t...

This past 4th of July was hot, rainy and humid as Hades in Chongqing. We had our 4th of July American-style barbecue in the 8th floor stairwell because of the rain, which gradually moved into one of our apartments, because of the heat. One of the volunteers was dating a Chinese girl who spoke very fluent English and she came to our party. In the apartment we started talking about sex, as rained-out Americans in mixed company are want to do. I found out later this girl was shocked that we would discuss such things in mixed company in such detail, as this is just not done in Chinese culture. And, she was shocked at how much sex education we all had and felt comfortable discussing, period. Of course, we thought nothing of it. It reminded me that learning the language of another culture does not always equal understanding the culture. (This was also the weekend T. ate food he'd dropped on the stairwell floor and the next day got too sick to leave my apartment to go home and the resulti...

My favorite kind of light bulb is the GE Soft Pink bulb; I had them in every lamp in my apartment in San Antonio, and it was lovely being bathed in a soft, flattering pale blush glow. I tried to make sure all my dates saw me near a lamp as often as possible. Side note: you know how in old movies when things get romantic, the light gets all soft and fuzzy? There should be a way for that to happen in real life too; it would be so helpful! I'd know exactly what was on his mind and I could gear up for it. (I hate surprises. Also, I am a dork and usually thinking about, oh, light bulbs and stuff. I miss the cues sometimes.)  Target in San Antonio carried pink bulbs and it was never a big deal to buy them, but they're non-existent everywhere I've checked here. Where did all the pink bulbs go? I found them online-- $60 for 12, plus shipping. Um, maybe not!  I kept checking and did find a cheaper price, phew! So, I have to have pink bulbs shipped in? Really, light bulbs? I have...

The book Salt is fascinating, if you are into the history of how common items influence history and customs and such. The author traces the impact salt has had on societies since recorded history. He makes the point that how we feel about oil is how previous societies felt about salt; think we'll ever get to a point where oil is a non-issue? (Not because of supplies, but because of reduced necessity?) I also loved the part where he talked about the Sichuan rural peasant making declarations about Chinese inventions apropos of nothing. Totally. The Chinese do love their declarations! Salt, by Mark Kurlansky __________ This sparked a realization: iodine deficiency. Pretty sure I had it in China. In about my fifth month there, my hair started falling out in too-large-for-comfort chunks. I was horrified, as I am pretty vain. I called our doctor about it and she told me I needed to diversify my diet; I was a vegetarian and my normal protein substitutes (mainly dairy and nuts) were...

An article from this week about how younger people hate email. I wrote about it weeks ago! Get with the program, NYT. You are so 2000. Link to the article.  My goal to not email didn't go so well. I think I lasted about 6 hours. Oh well. ______________ I was reminded this week of a conversation T. and I had when I was in China. I told him that something good had happened (I can't remember now what it was) because he was such a decent guy. His response? T.: "Ugggghh, decent? That's a bad word to a guy. It's like me saying, "You have a great personality." Me: "I DO have a great personality!" T.: "Ok, yes you do, but still no guy wants to be called decent! It means they're not exciting or sexy or something." Me: "Okay. I won't say it again." T.: "Well, I probably am decent. I just have to live with it. Damn it!" Before this I had no idea 'decent' was such a loaded word. So now instead of...

I'm a little bit enamored of the idea of Queens, NY. I've never been there except for riding to and from JFK and LaGuardia, which doesn't count. But I've heard there is a large population of Mandarin speakers in Flushing, Queens, and I really, really wanna hang out in Mandarin-speaking Chinatown for a day or two. Historically, the majority of Chinese who immigrated to the U.S. were Cantonese speakers; hence Szechuan food instead of Sichuan food. (I'm gonna call it: Sichuan wins. But actually they speak Sichuan dialect, not Mandarin, in Sichuan province. China is kinda complicated.) But some of that is changing and Flushing is one of those areas. I supposed not many people dream of a vacation in Queens, but I've rescheduled my Boston trip for St. Patrick's Day/Evacuation Day next March and I'm trying to work out swinging by NYC a few days prior. If so, I'm definitely going to Flushing. I need to eat some delicious foods and buy sketchy Chinese produ...

I've had this little pig since I was a toddler. As you can see, it's been broken a few times. I loved this pig so much, I'd carry it around like it was a stuffed animal. I got very upset when I'd drop and break it, and even though it was just a worthless, cheap ceramic pig, my dad glued it back together each time. I've saved it as a reminder of one of the qualities I admire most about my dad: if it was important to you, it was important to him. Another thrift store find: my vintage Pendleton wool, double-breasted peacoat. Very heavy, very warm. I got it for $15 about ten years ago. It's been in storage for years and years because I didn't need a coat after I moved to San Antonio. I considered taking it to China, but it's so heavy it would have taken up precious weight in my luggage. But, the coat is back! The first time my mom saw it, she said, "Ew, it looks like something an old grandpa would wear." I KNOW, that's why it's awesome! ...

I'm revisiting my last letter, I realized I had more to say about it. My last two posts were pretty serious, so how about something more light-hearted for now? 1. Old Things. My mom abhors old things, so I know I get this from my dad, in some cases literally. This little desk was his nightstand during college, but I remember it as the place he stored wiring and electronics, etc. He gave it to me, I painted it black (not well-- needs to be redone) and I use it to store toiletries/medicine cabinet stuff. I reckon this little chest is about 40+ years old now. I love it because it was my dad's. He also gave me his Army toolbox, and a really cool old Army messenger-type bag from the 1940s. I think he got it at a surplus store, but he used it as a fishing bag and I cherish it. It's in storage right now and I have a cold and am too chicken to venture out in the snow for it. I'll share a picture another day. I bought my bed at a used furniture store for $200. It's b...

Note: I moved into a new apartment this weekend, I'm way behind in my correspondence. I love my new apartment though; the walk-in closet is bigger than the kitchen, and includes a lighted vanity mirror and sink area for getting ready in the closet . Perfect apartment for me. ______ Story #2: This guy, I knew him before I went to China. I thought he was charming, funny, smart, interesting, handsome, and I put him on a bit of a pedestal. We were not equals when it came to life experience. I liked that about him! At that time, I was grieving for my dad and not feeling very strong. It felt good to have someone who was more knowledgeable and strong to look up to. I spent my final weekend with him before I went to China. Peace Corps discourages you from having friends or family join you for that final weekend before you depart, but I thought it would be okay because he was so great. But that weekend was much more stressful than I thought it would be; I was moving to completely un...

I'm going to be brutally honest about some men I know. (Not on the same day.) But both of these men gave me experiences that taught me something, so I'm sharing it. If they read it and recognize themselves, well, I guess now they know. Story 1:  Chemistry, it is a mystery. I had a close male friend in Chongqing. We saw each other a lot, laughed a lot, ate together a lot, watched online tv together a lot, took taxis and buses and subways together a lot, blah blah blah. One night we were at McDonalds at 2:00 a.m., which is sometimes what you do in China when you miss America and our delicious, fake food. I was sleepy, so while we waited for our food, I put my arm around him and leaned my head on his shoulder for a little rest. He was a great rest-support post.  He responded by running his hand lightly up and down my back, something he'd never done before, and instantly I felt the effects of that hand everywhere, all over my body, all at once. Well, that was unexpected. He ...

I know many of you are bilingual; so cool! I wish I spoke another language fluently/native-like. I don't. But I do like adopting the words I love in other languages into English, without translating them. I've talked here before about a few words I wish we had equivalents for in English. Here are a couple more: 1. Sancha Origin: Spanish. Means: 'The girl on the side.' We don't have a great translation for it into English. Concubine? Mistress? Illicit Lover? None of those really capture how I heard sancha used in everyday conversation, which in San Antonio, was frequently. (What this says about San Antonians, I'm not sure.) Anyway, I always heard it used as a girl on the side you flirt with and have feelings for, but not necessarily doing anything about. Although you might be. It covers a wide range of doing-ness or not. But if you are in a monogamous relationship, you probably don't want your SO to have a sancha. 2. Ganbei Origin: Mandarin. Means: Em...

I got this t-shirt at Target several years ago. Yes, I do love nerds. Nerds know cool things! And can do cool stuff!  Now, saying you like nerds is not the same as saying you like socially awkward types, although there might be some overlap*. To me, nerds are people who care a lot about something and invest themselves in it deeply and don't care if it's cool or not; they do something because they love it, not because they care what anyone else thinks about it. And if it's not mainstream? All the cooler. Nerds unite! *I'm okay with socially awkward. It can be cute. _____ I hate wearing clothes. I'd go topless all the time if I could. My mom used to always say she hated wearing clothes and I was so scandalized by this! Moms should be dressed at all times! But now I totally get it. I have a bit of a reputation of liking to wear as little as possible, whenever possible. (I was gchatting with someone and they connected by video; me: "Um, I'm not dressed....

At work I have not one, but two 22-inch high def monitors, plus my 17-inch MacBook Pro. When I come home, my 15-inch laptop seems soooo small and quaint, like I'm using an old Atari or something. I am definitely spoiled by my big, high-def monitors. ___________ I'm a make-up junkie and MAC has some of my favorite colors. It isn't my favorite make-up; I prefer Chanel, Dior and Urban Decay for quality. But MAC has some great pigments that work well with darker, golden-toned skin. Such as: "O" lipstick. This lipstick is magic, y'all. It's berry infused with gold, so it is just the right mix of red and brown. It makes your skin glow . I've heard it's a bit strong for some fair-haired peeps, but if you have a darker or golden skin tone, try this lipstick. You might love it like I do. One of my staples. MAC Paints. I only wear them on my eyelids, although technically you could wear them anywhere on your face/body. They look like oil paint tubes ...

One of my weaknesses is being able to forgive, move on and/or let go of the past; that is, not allow my present to be colored by the past. I read an analogy that clicked with me: falling leaves from a tree. If trees didn't let their leaves fall and die each winter, they'd have no room for new growth in the spring. It's a part of nature that plants and trees let go of the old to prepare for the new. I never would have compared myself to this process without reading that, but it brought me some measure of comfort. I'm a visual person, so I needed that symbolism to help me understand why it's necessary to forgive and let go. I vacillate between knowing there are people who should not be a part of my life and making that clear to them, and the sadness of wishing circumstances were different and they could be a healthy part of my life. In some cases (luckily very few and far between) that's just not possible. I both fear and miss them. It's been a hard thing...

(If you are related to me, maybe you don't want to read this.) I think some people come from kissy families, some do not. I come from a kissy family; I'm sure this was largely due to my mom's Chilean-ness. (Some of my clearest memories of visiting Chile are of being kissed by every old woman I saw.) I love that in Chilean culture, you kiss strangers upon being introduced. So friendly! (Maybe also other Spanish cultures, not sure.) In San Antonio, it is quite common for friends to greet each other with a kiss. I got used to this. In China, I had kissing friends and non-kissing friends. When the kissing friends met up in public, I wonder if we shocked the Chinese around us, who don't hug or touch upon greeting, let alone kiss. I noticed my kissing friends in China were mostly Italian or of Italian heritage, or from the East Coast. Are you a kisser? My non-kissing friends are REALLY non-kissing. Funny how that happens. When I was younger, I thought kissing was either...

I just realized, both of my recent recollections about songs from John Legend and Jay-Z both involve V. What will I write about when I actually get to the letter V? John Legend's album Evolver , one of my all-time favorite albums. Very mellow, very sensual, very engaging. The day V. and I left Chongqing was crazy ; when we got to Chengdu it was raining, we had ALL of our stuff we were taking to America with us (I had more than he did, though; love when girl stereotypes are true!), and in the long-distance bus parking lot I was in a shouting match with a Chinese illegal taxi driver about the fare to take us to our hostel. V. asked me in English if we could pay the higher rate just to get us there. (He's very non-confrontational like that. I was prepared to keep yelling for a while, haha.) By the time we got to the hostel we were wet, loaded down and I can only speak for myself here, but generally just tired of dealing with China that day. My qipao was dirty and I'd been so...

I used to try to override my intuition with non-logic, mostly because I didn't want to believe the things my intuition was telling me were true. In China, I learned to embrace intuition. It's a very large part of Chinese culture, to accept things that cannot be explained and reasoned and logically construed. Often this was frustrating for me; "This makes no sense!" came out of my mouth on maybe an hourly basis my first year there. Once I let go of everything having to make sense or be logical, I was much happier living there. Then it became another of our catchphrases, "TIC." This is China. That explains it. And that's enough. -That person approaching you across the parking lot in an unsafe manner? Yeah, it's good to be suspicious of that person and tell them to back off. You're not rude. Nice people don't approach girls alone in a parking lot. -That guy who tells you he is single, but so many clues point to him not being completely hones...

I had to take a picture to really illustrate Bunny. Our group of friends stayed in a condo just off of the main square in Jackson Hole. (For those who don't know, Jackson is a ski resort town in Wyoming, full of quaint little log-cabin style shops selling expensive stuff, most of it incorporating sheepskin and leather and/or moose. It's very cute.) We were there to go to this event ; we donated a quilt for the auction. The day of, I styled my hair in one of my favorite lazy-day hairdos, little buns atop my head: That evening I was trying to decide between keeping the little buns or shaking them out into curls. I kept the little buns, mostly because it turns out they fit nicely under my panda hat and I didn't care what my hair looked like. The event was fun! There was a live band, then a DJ. Around 1:30 a.m. we started dancing with a group of guys who all came to Jackson to work and be ski bums. Super funny, super fun, super good dancers. So I'm normally a kind...

I just like knowing I live in a world where Henry Cavill exists: I absolutely do not think he would ask me out.  Turns out I have very little to say about H's! A few quick hits:  1. High-heeled camel boots: (I take it back. Henry Cavill might be blinded by the beauty of those boots and make it happen.)  2. Hugs and holding hands 3. Hot baths The H's are kind of old-school and simple, but the classics never stop being wonderful, I suppose.  _________ In other news, our girls' weekend in Jackson Hole, WY was COLD but hilarious and I came away with a new nickname, Bunny. But I'll tell that story in another post. 

Swear on the bible, earlier this week I saw a picture of Jake Gyllenhaal in internet-passing and thought, "I bet there's a good chance if he met me, he'd ask me out." This means one of three things: 1. My self-esteem is waaay out of control 2. I'm delusional 3. I'm delusional I don't ever think this about famous people, but you know what? I bet if I met Jake Gyllenhaal in person, he'd want to ask me out. He looks like a bunch of guys I went to college with, and they seemed to like me just fine. It could happen! Hehehe. _____ I've accepted that Google pretty much owns me; gchat, Google voice, gmail-- everything they do, I love. Except Buzz. That sucked. But everything else is great. I actually get disappointed when I have friends who use yahoo and hotmail because then we can't gchat. Which brings me to my second point: I've noticed lately that men kinda dislike email. One guy I know, he'll always answer my emails, but he...

Those of you who have been reading this blog a while know that in San Antonio I lived across the street from a firehouse. Most homes in my neighborhood were gated estates set back from the road, but I walked everywhere I could and ran in my neighborhood at night, so the firefighters would often see me outside and we'd say hello, and then chat a bit, and then we became friends. One year I couldn't go home for Thanksgiving and when they found out, invited me over to have Thanksgiving dinner with them. I brought pumpkin pound cake and we had a delicious dinner. (Firefighters are awesome cooks.) I was pretty honored they'd ask me to join them, and it remains a memorable Thanksgiving. I'm sure it's the only Thanksgiving I'll ever spend in a firehouse. I feel like firehouses are special places; they are setup up just to protect and help. Especially after living overseas, I appreciate that we have these places, and people willing to serve in them. I think nothing rea...

I have a bit of an ear/neck fetish. Ears are very sensitive, no? (That why we poke holes in them, I suppose.) A man who is a good ear kisser is permanently on the "I'll Always Remember You" list. (I love putting people on lists; it makes my life a lot more organized!) That particular list is short, but it's a good one. I prefer sleeping with my ears covered; grandma came to check on me one night and saw me on my side with the blankets covering my ear. She got such a kick out of that because she needs to have her ears covered when she sleeps, too. She bought me a silk pillowcase so I could sleep with silk over my ears, what a grandma! I'll often wake up in the morning with my arms and hands curled up around my head, the backs of my hands covering my ears. I have a hard time sleeping with other people in my bed because I want the blankets over my ears. I don't know why, but it's comforting to have my ears covered. Hey, at least it's not my nose! ____...

I have many declarations. My long-term favorite is "He/She/It is dead to me." I can hold a grudge like a hiker holding onto a ledge. It's a real talent. But last night R. and I were gchat video chatting (I love R.; she is, quite simply, awesome) and she said, "You know what sucks about being home? I can no longer excuse things by saying, 'Ain't no shame in China.'" She's right. "Ain't no shame in China" is a declaration I made about a year in, when I stopped being polite and started being real. (Ha! Old-school, in the house!) It became our rallying cry: Get hooked on Gossip Girl and actually discuss it with friends? Ain't no shame in China. Drink 120 proof Chinese liquor too quickly and puke all over your hotel room like a college kid? Ain't no shame in China. Kiss a guy in a bar (twice! In two different bars!) you'd never have kissed in America? Ain't no shame in China. Wear mismatched clothing and lots of c...

Today is my first day at my new job. This is a really good thing for me, I'm very happy about it. Something I treasure in my friendships: good conversation. Most of my friends, the thing I remember most about them are the conversations we have. They make me laugh, think, ponder, consider, and enjoy life. In China, I learned to appreciate good conversation because I could get around and do my daily duties, but I couldn't have in-depth conversations in Chinese; I really looked forward to and enjoyed the times I spent with other English speakers, just talking. One of my favorite nights in China was the night my girlfriends C. and E. and I hung out in a cozy Chinese bar, all soft couches and cushions and low light, talking about all the issues we face as women in China, in the world, in our own lives. I felt so supported and inspired by these ladies. R. and J. and I have had countless great talks on similar topics, and our experiences in education/jobs/relationships/living. The...

I first became interested in Buddhism when I visited Thailand several years ago. Two of my favorite quotations from Buddha: "What we think, we become." "We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world." Our minds are powerful; I'm trying to be more conscious of where I direct my thoughts and energy. I have found it is easy with practice to let go of material things, but it is tempting to me to hold on to thoughts of anger and resentment; they satisfy the ego very well. My ego struggles with letting go of these things, but slowly, slowly, I am seeing the wisdom of it. It's not my job to mete out punishment for wrongdoings. When I let go, I can move forward, and as for the other person? What will be, will be. It's actually a relief it has nothing to with me and is not my responsibility. I don't "lose" when I let go. This is what I'm working on making my ego truly believe. I do be...

My three favorite vegetables: artichokes, asparagus, avocados*. I learned to eat veggies from my Chilean mom, so I tend to eat them the Chilean way: steamed, with lemon juice, olive oil and salt. Some fresh garlic for the asparagus, too. Not the avocados! Those I mash up raw with lemon juice, salt, garlic powder and a bit of white cooking wine. Delicious. I've heard of people eating artichokes with mayo or some creamy dressing, but that just sounds awful to me. Do you like it that way? I can't get up the nerve to try it. I made artichokes yesterday for lunch and forgot about them on the stove, so the bottoms caramelized a bit. Oops. I just picked those leaves off, still delicious! I eat the hair and stem, too. The hair is my favorite part, when the artichoke is young and fresh. And swirling the heart and stem around in a little bowl of lemon juice, oil and salt, then biting in? Heaven. I make a meal of just artichokes, and I don't cut them down or make them pretty, ...

I was going to write today about China, but you know what? I realize my memories will never mean as much to other people as they do to me. And that's okay. I think if you've read my other posts, you have a good idea of what I loved, and what was difficult, about China. Sometimes I miss China so much my heart aches. Sometimes I'm relieved to be back in America where I understand the culture (although this took several months-- reverse culture shock is a real thing). I'm feeling much more comfortable here. Some big changes for me coming up. China did a good job preparing me for the rest of my life. It was a graduate course in flexibility, creativity, strength, courage, acceptance and doing things you never thought possible. I read an analogy recently that made a lot of sense to me, so I want to share it: if you think of life like a river, a lot of us are preoccupied with where we are in the river: what we have materially, or relationships, what we've achieved or...

Three months in, a few things I love about being back in America: 1. Walking into a store that has clothes and shoes in my size, and no one telling me I am too big or fat for their store. 2. Buying produce without having to weigh it first at a chaotic produce counter where if you don't shove to the front, you never get your stuff weighed. 3. No one screaming "Hello!" in my face as I'm walking by. 4. Super clean public bathrooms! 5. Everything smells so good. (Americans are very particular about smells, aren't we?) 6. Indoor climate control everywhere you go. 7. People smile at you and hold the door*. 8. Target. 9. So much cheese! 10. No firewall, no need to censor what I'm Googling, and I can take pictures of whatever I want.** *Stores in my part of China don't have doors, just an open wall, but no one smiles. ** In the video I posted recently of my neighborhood , you might not have noticed I was being very careful to keep the camera on my s...

It is not an exaggeration to say I would not have made it through my Peace Corps experience without the support of folks back home. So many people did so much for me. I'm putting together this week care packages for Thanksgiving/Christmas for some folks over in China; it means a lot for me to be able to give back for all the kindness shown towards me. It's so fun picking stuff out, knowing it'll be a treat for them. Thanks again to everyone who supported me, with packages and warm thoughts and kind words. I'm paying it forward in your honor.

Back in San Antonio, my friend Stacey had asked me to pick her up from the airport. It was full summer, and for those of you who haven't been in San Antonio in the summertime, you know that expression 'hot as an oven'? Well, I like to say San Antonio summers are 'hot as downwind from an exhaust pipe.' (Which means when you actually are downwind from an exhaust pipe, things get really unpleasant.) It's quite common for there to be a temperature difference of 35-40 degrees between indoor and outdoor air during a San Antonio summer. True story: I had a small heater at my work desk and turned it on in the summer, not winter, because the air conditioning was on so high in our building I froze to death at my desk. So anyway, I go straight from the gym to the airport to pick up Stacey. It's 10 pm but still around 100 degrees outside. Inside, it's a balmy 60 or so. Gotta give those tourists a false sense of comfort! I'm pacing a bit in the baggage area wa...