Rebecca A. Foster

Confession: I love having someone else to help zip up my dresses. And zip down. It feels very decadent, no? And did you know this dress exists? I had no idea, until I was googling 'zipper.' All I can think is, it must be very uncomfortable in hot weather. Ouch! I also love my black & beige zebra print napkins I bought at Pier 1 Imports years ago. Tried to find them online to show you a photo, but looks like they don't carry them right now. I'm too lazy to go take a picture so: picture zebra print napkins. I love them. Just for M: Zoolander's best scene .

Picture it: Arizona, 1997-ish. I've gone to visit my friend T. in Mesa, but we are Just Friends, capital J, capital F. The kind of Just Friends who, because we attend universities in different states, travel to visit each other a couple of times a year. Around 11 PM we go for a late night swim (yay Arizona winter weather!), then head downtown in his brand new car. I'm poking through the CDs in the center console when I find one clearly labeled 'Make-Out Mix.' Now, let's ignore for a moment the fact someone actually labels their CD 'Make-Out Mix' instead of something more innocuous like 'Slow Jams.' (Those two things are always the same, right?) I hold up the CD so I can see by passing streetlight if my eyes are really seeing what they're seeing. Being the kind of girl I am, the following exchange goes down: Me: "Make-Out Mix? Realllly?" T: "Oh... yeah. Um, I've had that CD forever, it's old, I forgot it was in there....

My Chinese name is Libeisha, which is three words combined: li (丽pretty) bei (蓓 flower bud) sha (莎 no real meaning, just used for the sound). But the word 'sha' with the character 杀  means 'murder.'  I sent an email to a student and was typing too fast and when I hit the keys for 'libeisha' the character string that came up first was the murder-sha 杀, not the sound-name-sha 莎. I chose the murder character, didn't notice, and sent off the email. Hoo boy, did my student find that amusing! He wrote back immediately, "Are you okay? You have been murdered? Oh no!" And told me he had gathered up his classmates to his dorm room so they could see and laugh at my mistake, too. They love that I study Mandarin, but they got quite a kick out of their teacher calling herself  "murdered." Oops. Sometimes, your language skills are only as good as your typing skills. I use Google Mandarin for my keyboard conversion program, btw. Google owns so many p...

One difficulty of living in China: lack of privacy. Sometimes in ways you'd never anticipate. We had a disagreement in the middle of the very crowded, busy public square near my apartment; no yelling, but I was pretty upset. He asked if he could walk me home; the two kilometers to my apartment were passed in absolute silence. Oh, what I would have given for the privacy of a car at that moment! A car I could jump into and speed off and listen to the radio too loud to assuage my hurt feelings. A way to get the hell away from him right on the spot. Near my apartment, we ran into American friends at the beer garden just outside my building. They beckoned us to join them, and as we sat down on our little playskool-sized plastic chairs, we had to pretend everything was fine. And a funny thing happened: everything became fine. After hanging out with them for a while, he and I went to my apartment; he cooked me some food, we talked, things were okay. One of the hardest things about C...

I found this link through Twitter; it's a short animated visual graphing of the rise of the wealth and health of nations over the last two hundred years. The Chinese breakout especially interested me; GuiZhou and the rural parts of China he mentions are where Peace Corps volunteers are mostly assigned; GuiZhou is the province just to the east of Chongqing. And yes, going to Shanghai was like going to Europe as far as wealth, cleanliness and public behavior were concerned. If you like social science, you will probably love this. If you don't like social science, you will probably love it after watching this.

The best Y in the world is New York City. As I've said before, Shanghai is more developed and other cities have more history and beautiful architecture, but New York has a flavor and spirit like nowhere else I've been.  I've booked my plane ticket and hotel reservations for my trip to NYC and Boston in March; I'll be gone a full 8 days, 4 days in each city. I'm going to spend time with friends from my time in China, and I'm really excited to go to the Chinatowns in Flushing and Manhattan. And of course, I have to go to Washington Heights and see my favorite bridge and walk those interesting streets. In Boston, we are doing the whole St. Patrick's day celebration thing, and I want to go on the Boston Haunted Walk. Other than that, playing it by ear. So many possibilities for fun!  When I'm in NYC, I always eat mounds of falafel. Looking forward to eating many deeleeciours foods. And being in a crowded city again. Salt Lake City is beautiful, b...

Guys, I can't think of anything to write about for 'X'. I've been delaying and delaying and...nothing. X marks none of my spots. Sorry, X. In lieu of X, here's a picture of me when I was a toddler. I found this picture because V. and I were walking down the street one day and he asked me what my natural hair color is. I told him, "It's pretty close to the color it is now." "But your hair is like three different colors." I remember feeling flattered he'd noticed my hair at all. So when I got home I dug this out of my electronic files to show him my natural hair color is pretty close to his: black. And also to show him I'd mastered jazz hands at an early age. (Well, my left hand did.) My favorite part of this picture, though, is my red tights. My mom was always dressed us very fashionably. Pretty sure I was also wearing matching red Buster Brown shoes. I don't think there was a time between ages 1 and 10 I didn't own a ...

I like to use the word 'lick' to convey my attraction/desire for someone. Mulder: after all these years, still very lickable.   This picture also reminds me: beard burn? Always worth it. (It also reminds of the pictures I never shared from last Halloween because I had beard rash in places other than my face.)  And this might be the military brat it me, but men with badges are hot. Even when they're not hot, they're still hot.  If Don Draper had a badge, I'd probably kitten-lick him to death. I mean, come on . 

Chinese students almost uniformly make the mistake of pluralizing 'clothes' into 'clothes-es' and we are the kind of teachers that mimicked our students most common mistakes when talking to each other, so now I say 'clothes-es' all the time in my head. Other things we said: Deeleeciours (delicious) Advices I wish you happy every day! I miss speaking Chinglish on a daily basis. Luckily I still talk to folks in China so when they say things like this, I write them down. You think you won't forget, but you do! Did you know in Chinese culture it is normal to wear the same clothes for several days in a row? (Not underwear, that I know of!) You wear them until they are dirty, then change into new clothes and wash the ones you've been wearing. It was really hard to get used to at first, but then I loved it. It's much easier than having to choose new outfits every day. My students thought it was really strange Americans change our clothes every day. ...

I had a refreshing talk with my friend E. over the weekend. And let me digress and say, My stories from China often involve the guys because I saw them frequently and they were always up for shenanigans. But the guys will fade away from my life, it's inevitable. The girl friends I made there were fewer in number and I didnt see them as often, but they are rocks in my river of life. They are smart, beautiful, funny, kind and giving. The boys are fun to kiss! And hang out with! And make me laugh hard! But the girls-- R., N., E., C., and J: they are the people I want to become. ANYWAY, E. and I were talking about taking the unconventional path in life; Peace Corps often attracts people who take the unconventional path, each in our own way. When you take an unconventional path, you have to make your own markers of success, contentment, happiness, etc. How do you do this? Where do the markers come from? It can be stressful at times, having to choose and gauge and live by your own mark...

Today I mailed off the paperwork to donate my body at death to the University of Utah Medical School. I already knew I wanted to be cremated and scattered, so it made sense to me to add this part to it. I checked with my family, because they are the ones this decision would affect, and they were very supportive of it. The medical school cremates you when your service is finished. I had the option to:  1. Have my ashes buried in a donor's plot at the local cemetery; each year, they bury the ashes of donors who wish to be buried there and conduct a memorial service for the families, medical students and anyone else who wants to attend.  2. Have my ashes mailed to my family by certified mail, with return receipt. This caught me off guard-- I had no idea you could mail ashes. Technically, you could mail them to somewhere random and boom, that's your final resting place.  3. Have your family pick them up at the medical school. This is the option I chose. My sister asked m...

Found my camera when I cleaned out my study. A few pictures from my new apartment: I live near the mountains, in Salt Lake City. It's a 2 minute drive to the entrance to the nearest canyon, and within 15 minutes I can be in 3 or 4 other canyons, including the one that leads to Park City, where Sundance is held every year. I never expected to live here at this time, but it's where I got my great job. This is the view from my balcony. It doesn't really do it justice, the mountain peak is 12,000 ft. elevation. My dining room, with my Buddha scroll, rice cooker, electric kettle and Chongqing Starbucks mugs on the stove back. It's like I'm back in China all over again. My living room: Two pictures now hanging in my living room/dining room: A little qipao I bought in the Shanghai airport so I wouldn't have to change that money back to dollars: A picture T. took in Tibet last year of two Tibetan monks in an alleyway, holding hands. It's now above ...

Today was a hard day. I had to go to a funeral for a relative at the same cemetery where my dad is buried, a place I have steadfastly avoided the last four years. My step-sister said to me, "Is it hard for you to be here too? Or is it just me?" I felt so much better knowing I wasn't alone in feeling bad/anxiety today. We agreed we might be big babies, but at least we weren't alone. So, I need to take my mind off of things. 1. I went to Eddie Bauer later to buy a cream colored soft shirt, because they are the only ones I know who make great cream-colored (not white) layering shirts. While I was there, I saw this Downlight hoodie pullover , in coffee, my size, on sale. I am now the proud owner of a really warm, sporty jacket. I figure if I'm going to live here now, I should build up a winter wardrobe. I love this new jacket. 2. A friend this week said he thought Marion Cotillard is my doppelganger. I would never make that connection, but it's a really n...

I bought a new bra recently and didn't notice until I got home that it had built-in nipple flowers; like these, but already embedded: Nipples are so racy. Why? I mean, I've seen the effect they can have on men, but I don't get it. Mens' and womens' breasts are different, but their nipples are a lot the same. Men's nipples are no big deal, so why are women's? I mean, sure, if the breast is naked, it's a little racy. But nipples through clothing? You know they're there, right? We're not human Barbie dolls. Why is it so shocking to see nipples through clothing? I also saw this blog post a few days ago; looks like I am not alone in my nipple pondering. My favorite bras are sheer lace, because to me they are the most comfortable. But have you been to a bra section lately? It's like now lace bras are the realm of Fredericks of Hollywood, because it's just row after row of thick fabric, padded bras. I don't remember when this happe...

...which are the children of an idle brain. (From Romeo and Juliet ) You know what's weird?  When you dream things you've never done in your waking life, and you like it. I dreamt I was smoking. I don't smoke, never have, but in my dream I was enjoying it oh-so-much.  But how do I know what it feels like to smoke??  How does my brain invent this dream about something I have never done?! I don't get this, and it happens with more than just smoking.  Anyway, I was puffing away, chain smoking, and enjoying it immensely. *shrug* I also have dreams I'm kissing people I've never kissed in real life. I always enjoy it. I want to tell them, "Obviously I think you'd be great to kiss" because that's a compliment, right? But then you have to admit you dream-kissed them. Awkward. Dreams are full of crazy sauce. Do you have dreams of things you've never done? Do you enjoy it?

A guy I barely knew in my city asked me to dinner, in 2009. We went, no chemistry (even as friends) from my point of view, so I was shocked when he asked me if I wanted to have dinner and watch a movie with him that weekend. Sometimes first dates just aren't great, so I said yes. But then, on the bus ride home, I realized he meant eat dinner and watch a movie at his apartment. I didn't feel comfortable doing this because I barely knew him and there was a certain BCI to this request (Booty Call Implication-- thanks Community !), so when I got home, I asked him if he'd mind if we did something else instead, like go to a local historical site. I didn't explain why, I just asked. He said no. Cancelled the date altogether by saying "Nevermind. I'm not into [historical site]." And no offer of doing anything else instead. Hmmm. Okay, so he's not here for my sparkling and charming personality! I learned from my Brutal Honesty II experience that it i...

NOTE: Um, I just realized I didn't forget V; V is for Vixen. I'm sorta dumb sometimes. But I wrote all this, so I'm leaving it up.   Sometimes I mess up the alphabet. UVW/KLM, I always have to stop and think about the order of those letters. Is it just me? Okay then. I love the message of India.Arie's song 'Video.'    If you haven't heard it, it's worth a listen. Don't get me wrong, I totally buy into the Beauty Industrial Complex. I own a ton of makeup, I color my hair and shave my legs and pluck my eyebrows and exfoliate and moisten and shine or un-shine, as needed. And I like doing it. But it's a good message to be reminded of: I'm awesome just for being me. In all the world, no one else is me. (If you know me, maybe you are thinking this is a good thing!)  No one is replaceable. I cherish my friends, and I hope they know how much I value them for being individuals and who they are.  __________________ I also love my little violi...

Have you ever licked a salt lick? We used to buy little ones for our rabbits and big blocks for our goats and of course I had to lick one once, just to try it. (In the store, before the rabbits licked it!) Well if you want, you can lick me; I taste about the same. (For about an hour, that is.) This is my way of saying my salt therapy has been a big success, even though my skin is very salty these days. I don't think the salt baths are very practical, but the magnesium oil I bought has turned things around faster than I anticipated. It was literally almost overnight. I don't think magnesium oil prevents or cures eczema in any way, but it sure healed my existing patches quickly. A word of caution: you know that cliche 'like pouring salt on an open wound'? Yeah. It hurts like a mofo. Be prepared for some intense stinging for about 10 minutes. I don't recommend this for kids at all, who might not understand the pain. I bought my magnesium oil (not really oil, just...

My dad bought me my first book about wabi-sabi. I don't know how he knew about it or knew it would resonate with me, but he was my dad, so he just knew stuff. As I understand it, wabi-sabi is a Japanese concept of humility and acceptance of time and imperfection. It means accepting who you are in your soul. It means loving something because it is meaningful, and this makes it beautiful. It means that objects are beautiful when they aren't perfect or mass-produced, but when they develop character through age and use. Wabi-sabi is not shabby chic. Wabi-sabi isn't just decoration, it's the way you conduct yourself in your daily life. It means you are perfectly yourself and you don't wish to be anything else. It means you revere experience and humility. It means to live as simply as possible, so as not to clutter your mind or your heart or your home. For me, the goal of wabi-sabi is to love every space I am in. I often describe myself as a minimalist, but in re...

I can only think of two times in my life when I was clearly a vixen, and I have to admit, both times were really fun! I should do it more often, I'm just lazy or something. In San Antonio, for a time I was casually seeing J., who played in a band and had the best house ever. After it was clear we had the chemistry of friendship, not romance, we still hung out and I would have totally moved into his house, because J. was so cool and had a house tricked out like a 60's Rat Pack bar. This is a picture of me on his bed: Yes, he had mirrors on the ceiling. But this story is before that time. I went to see J.'s band play and as sometimes happens when you see a band play, I wore slightly more vixen-ish clothing than I did in my everyday life, namely black leather pants and a sassy shirt. (Sassy = cleavage.) After he played and came down to me in the audience, he ran into a girl that turned out to be the sister of a girl he had recently been seriously involved with, and who...

Last Spring V. and I were meeting up at the train station to travel together to our end-of-service conference in Chengdu; I got to the train station first and it was an uncharacteristically sort-of sunny day (one of our five days of sunshine a year, whoot!) so I sat outside to wait for him. A couple of Chinese grandmas and grandpas came over to find out A: "What are you doing in China?" and B: "Where is your umbrella, young lady, that sun is going to turn you brown!" One of the grandmas clucked her displeasure at my insistence that I liked the sunshine and didn't mind if I got a little darker. She stood next to me holding an umbrella over my head anyway, like I was an Egyptian queen on a barge (but there were no be-loincloth-ed men around, darn it). Chinese grandmas do what they want. Just as she was giving me another speech about my poor sun judgment and how it was going to make me too dark, V. walked up; his complexion is a little darker than mine, and grand...

My brother got me this mug for Christmas and I think I actually squealed with delight. I've written before about my love for the show Community , my favorite show on tv right now. I'm obliged to sing the "Troy and Abed In The Morning" song whenever I talk about this mug. My favorite thing about it is that the picture is the same on both sides, which means holding it in my left hand I can still see the picture, unlike my panda mug, which makes me stare at panda butt. Yay for double sided mugs! And Troy and Abed! ____ My Chilean mom gave us tea growing up as medicine, so I was quite prepared for this aspect of Chinese culture. I was not prepared for the tea itself, though. When the swine flu was going around, my school boss gave me a bag of bark and twigs and told me to make tea out of it to protect myself. With all due respect, no way was I doing that. I could smell the tea through the sealed bag, not a good sign. G. had a bad cold and tells the story of going to...

There's no proof for this, but I think people can be good to other people because they have the confidence, self-esteem and security to reach out to and treat others well unconditionally. Conversely, we might treat others badly when we lack the confidence, the self-esteem or the security to be able to put their needs before our own. When I hurt others, it has almost always been because of a lack of confidence, a feeling of insecurity, or not believing in myself. Friends have forgiven me, but I feel that pain of knowing I have hurt someone I cared about. I am grateful for the times my friends have forgiven me for my weaknesses and thoughtlessness. I believe very few people set out to hurt others. But just like a drowning person will push anyone to the bottom to get their head out of water, so do some of us at times hurt someone else to try to save our own sense of self and ego, however misguided our actions are. So my New Year's resolution is to try to develop the kind of ...