NYC Desk Homage

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Bus Adventures With Chinese Grandma: Don't Forget Your Stockings!

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Last night I was taking the bus to a friend's campus and sat down next to a grandma. Now, in the words of my friend Patrick, "Chinese grandmas are the sh*t." It's true: they can do anything and exude a quiet confidence I aspire to. (Also, they can totally snake all the good veggies at the market before anyone realizes what's happening.) They rule with a silk fist. You don't mess with a Chinese grandma. And to a Chinese grandma, all the world's a grandchild, especially a lone foreign girl. I sat down next to grandma in my short skirt and knee-high boots, sans stockings, and she immediately began chastising me for being bare-legged. I explained I don't have stockings, and she started running her hands up and down the bare-showing parts of my thighs, trying to warm me up. After a year and a half here, this didn't faze me (haha, I first wrote "phase" me), but I still had to laugh at the image of a Chinese grandma feeling up a random foreig...
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By The Time We Got There, It Was Dinner At Tiffany’s*.

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There is a phenomenon of giving directions in China that I still don’t understand: people will only give you directions to the next block. For example, “Go straight ‘til the next intersection, then turn left.” Now, you as a Westerner might think that means that after you turn left, you’ll be there. Oh no, my friend. This is just the beginning. If you don’t see what you’re looking for after you turn left, you ask someone else, and get the next set of directions. You will keep doing this, block after block, until you arrive at your destination. This happened to V. and I when we were in Chengdu for training. I needed to get to Tiffany & Co.* to get some jewelry cleaned, and he came with me. I didn’t know where Tiffany was exactly, but I figured it was downtown near the other big shops. Turns out it was in a new shopping plaza built a little zig-zaggy ways away from where we were. It took four sets of directions to get us there. Yup, that’s about right. Also, be aware: you will alw...
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Brutal Honesty Part III

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A guy I barely knew in my city asked me to dinner, in 2009. We went, no chemistry (even as friends) from my point of view, so I was shocked when he asked me if I wanted to have dinner and watch a movie with him that weekend. Sometimes first dates just aren't great, so I said yes. But then, on the bus ride home, I realized he meant eat dinner and watch a movie at his apartment. I didn't feel comfortable doing this because I barely knew him and there was a certain BCI to this request (Booty Call Implication-- thanks Community !), so when I got home, I asked him if he'd mind if we did something else instead, like go to a local historical site. I didn't explain why, I just asked. He said no. Cancelled the date altogether by saying "Nevermind. I'm not into [historical site]." And no offer of doing anything else instead. Hmmm. Okay, so he's not here for my sparkling and charming personality! I learned from my Brutal Honesty II experience that it i...
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