Ephemera

I started making these entries because I needed to remind myself there are still plenty of things to love. I have a habit of noticing joy and I didn't want to lose it in the midst of everything else happening in my life. I've never lost a parent before, I didn't really know how to not lose myself, too.

I often feel out of sorts these days. My life sorta got turned upside down. I don't think it's bad, it's just not what I was prepared for. People say out of the unexpected can come great things. I think it's true. But it doesn't mean it's not awkward at times.

The things I really want to talk about, I can't really talk about here. Because they're not for everyone's eyes. Some eyes here, some eyes there. Boundaries are a good thing, I think. I wondered if anyone reading this would think I was shallow for talking about such lightweight things. Probably. I have a journal for the deep stuff. God-willing, it will never see the light of day. And friends.

I've learned I love: writing and reading what others have to say. I've also learned I get frustrated by the way in which I feel I have to censor myself. And I wish there were a magic button that let pixels translate into touching, feeling, hearing, tasting and smelling. Feeling closed off from other people is the last thing I need right now. And sometimes writing here makes me notice how closing technology can be.