Men Who Can Flirt
Tossing out a flirt challenge and seeing it metaphorically fall with a thump at a man's feet? Sort of a non-recoverable letdown. But a man who cracks it back to you, even making you reach a bit? You don't forget a guy like that. Flirting isn't about "closing the deal" per se. One of my favorite flirt partners is gay. And hetero women flirt with each other, albeit in perhaps a different way than with men. Flirting is about noticing the other person has attractive qualities (note: not just physical) and making them feel it. Making them feel you notice. Making them feel you like it and appreciate it about them. I think a good flirtatious exchange leaves people feeling better about themselves. In fact, flirting should continue long after "closing the deal." I'd never be with a man I couldn't flirt with at all points in the continuum.
At it's basic level, it's a stylized form of social interaction. At it's most fun level, it's mind candy you share with others. An indicator of chemistry. Of possibilities, if that's what you seek. Gets the mind sparking a bit. And what's not to love about that?
picture from mocoloco.com
Comments
But of course there are degrees of everything. There's a big difference between the flirting that I flirt on a frequent basis and the flirting that I flirt when I encounter someone unique and interesting. Someone who I am attracted to not for obvious reasons, but because there's *something* there. An attraction that cannot be described.
The latter is a welcome challenge when it's encountered. It requires me to push myself to new levels of flirting. It requires insight and true interest. True interest being something about that person that I cannot take or leave, rather that I HAVE to take. Whether it's a style of glasses that they're wearing, or a book they're holding. Hair tucked back behind an ear in a frustrated way, where the girl in question was probably reading a book and her bangs kept falling in her face. I look at her hair, notice it clumsily falling out of its ineffective holding spot, then notice a book that I know or have an interest in.
These situations cannot be ignored or blown-off with a bashful smile and a "I should've spoken to her" afterthought. No, flirting MUST take place. Whether it's something like "you should've used gum and just stuck it to the back of your ear" or "can I buy you a cookie?" It doesn't matter. When these kind of chemicals present themselves, one must act.
I'm not talking about lousy come-ons, but rather, witty conversation. When this kind of special person is encountered, I have to take action. I owe it to myself to act on that which is so unique, this person I fancy.
I have to admit, more comfortable when an accomplished flirter approaches you in public than someone just saying random things. I sometimes wonder, "Is he trying to sell me something? Rob me? Throw me in a van?" But with a good flirt, you know what's going on.
Thanks for sharing your insights, very enlightening.
But every once in a while I really feel like flirting back, and that I love. The best flirtations are like dances, where you are each doing something in a similar genre of flirtation, whether it be visual, vocal, or tactile. You keep pace with each other's level of subtlety.
Well, that's more than I meant to say!
-eyesopen (Science Sense)
*Notices the pretty color of your eyes. Glances at your cheek, then away.*
-eyesopen (Science Sense)
Flirting for flirting's sake vs. flirting for intentions sake: you summed that up nicely. Great to hear your opinion, thanks.
Techno: Montreal, full of flirts! What would amaze me is the guys would eye you then not look away when you noticed them. French Canadians are darling, though, my lovely friend M. is FC and he is an awesome flirt. It's fun when a guy is a big flirt because it gives you the leeway to be a big flirt back.