Goals
Some days are really tough here. It can be very lonely and discouraging to live in such an alienating-to-foreigners culture so far away from friends and family, to be illiterate, to experience the loss of friendships. To get through the tough times, I try to focus on goals. Here are a few of mine:
1. Lose at least 30 lbs. (This shouldn't be number one, but it is.)
2. Speak Chinese at the Advanced Intermediate level.
3. Understand at least 2,000 Chinese characters.
4. Get back the self-esteem I lost. Feeling used and mislead: it doesn't do a body (or mind) good.
5. Let go without anger or resentment those who don't want my love.
6. Decide whether to pursue the Columbia fellowship.
7. Stop judging my accomplishments by whether I am married and have kids (as my church and society advocate).
8. Be grateful for what I have.
9. Quit whining about what I don't have.
10. Find gainful employment again, at some point.
1. Lose at least 30 lbs. (This shouldn't be number one, but it is.)
2. Speak Chinese at the Advanced Intermediate level.
3. Understand at least 2,000 Chinese characters.
4. Get back the self-esteem I lost. Feeling used and mislead: it doesn't do a body (or mind) good.
5. Let go without anger or resentment those who don't want my love.
6. Decide whether to pursue the Columbia fellowship.
7. Stop judging my accomplishments by whether I am married and have kids (as my church and society advocate).
8. Be grateful for what I have.
9. Quit whining about what I don't have.
10. Find gainful employment again, at some point.
Comments
Thanks for the good luck, I'll need it!
I look at life as white water rapids that ebbs and flows, quickly. You know that you may drift down in a valley but eventually there's an upswing and life does get better. Thats my mantra at least these days, even though Im more in a valley than a peak :D
Miss you!
BTW I have faith in you that you will get through this and see the 'peak' side of life soon :)
OK maybe not, but try to keep your perspective open in that this is a temporary time, you ARE making the most of it and the people who love you will always be there for you, fuck the others if they can't appreciate you for the jewel that you are.
Yeah. :-)
You are living IN China.....I was not able to handle an hour of China town in New York City....2010? I suppose it is right around the corner.
Are you native to TX?
Techno, you are right! The people who care about me will be there no matter where I live. As for the others, I guess we weren't meant to be together in the first place. I like the way you put it. :)
I can totally relate to #4... China has completely destroyed any self-esteem I did have. The constant laughing, comments about my height, weight, skin color... ugh. I don't know what your reasons are, but I do know how it feels to be disrespected. It sucks seeing your confidence diminish everyday because of people who don't matter... personally it makes me angry. I'm on a quest to gain it back too. :)
Hang in there and stay strong... I know you're a strong person. And if you ever need anything, you have support in China. :)
{Same thing here...Still carrying around extra baby weight...Yuck}
2. Speak Chinese at the Advanced Intermediate level.
{Now that's cool!}
3. Understand at least 2,000 Chinese characters.
{Ditto here...Cool!}
4. Get back the self-esteem I lost. Feeling used and mislead: it doesn't do a body (or mind) good.
{You should feel wonderful about yourself! You're strong, smart and beautiful! There's nothing you can't do.}
5. Let go without anger or resentment those who don't want my love.
{This could help your self-esteem.}
6. Decide whether to pursue the Columbia fellowship.
{That sounds exciting!}
7. Stop judging my accomplishments by whether I am married and have kids (as my church and society advocate).
{You have amazing accomplishments! You should be proud of everything you have done and everything you will do. Don't feel unworthy because you haven't found someone you'll cherish forever or don't have children. And don't rush in to any of it; it only leads to unhappiness.}
8. Be grateful for what I have.
{Always be grateful for what you have.}
9. Quit whining about what I don't have.
{Hmm..I need to follow that advice myself.}
10. Find gainful employment again, at some point.
{Ditto here...}
Kirsten, thanks for saying that. I am chubby, though! I could stand to lose it. Scarlett is so cute. I miss you guys a lot.
Thank you, Marianne. I'm thinking about you guys, too! Wish I could see you all more often. :)
Jen, very good advice, thank you. I beg to differ on the 'nothing I can't do' part! But I can do some things, and keep trying on the rest. I guess giving up is the true loss. Good look to you on your goals too! We can do it!
And goals can be a great thing in life! Hang in there R-Fos! We love you!
Also, I love how it looks like I'm talking to myself when you post. :)
The Other Rebecca